Fantasy and Imagination

I learned something huge about myself last night, as I was trying to fall asleep. I have always thought I was incapable of having a fantasy life. (That’s crazy for an actor to admit, right?) I am pretty firmly rooted in the “here and now” and am not given to fanciful thoughts. This means that, while I know I am creative, I never thought of myself as being imaginative. And last night I figured out why: because I am SO GOOD at fantasizing that I get hugely invested emotionally and it becomes too real to me. When I sit and try to imagine what it would be like to to be married, or to be on Broadway, I get invested immediately and the feeling is too intense. So, I refuse to fantasize or play with my imagination because it is all too real. I settle for practicality handle my emotions and dreams through hard work. I couldn't believe it when I figured this out- imagine what is possible, now that I realize I have had the tools all along? =)

The "Ick" feeling

I hate that feeling when you realize you didn’t get cast in something. The feeling only lasts for a moment or so, but it is a little sickness in the pit of your stomach, and then you have a free fall feeling just for a second, and then a heaviness. And then it goes away. Today I saw a press release for a show I thought I might get, and the PR indicated that I didn’t. Ick. I did very well at the audition and I am thrilled to have met the director, so I know the timing or chemistry is all that was off (neither of which I can control.)

Oh well. Moving on!

High School Survey

Just saw this quiz online about the SENIOR year of high school! If you are sadistic, you might copy and paste the quiz and answer it in YOUR blog!

1. Did you date someone from your school?
Yes, but we broke up in May right before graduation.

2. Did you marry someone from your high school?
No, sir!

3. Did you car pool to School?
No, I drove myself.

4. What kind of car did you have?
A 1980 Audi 5000.

6. It’s Friday night...where are you (then?)
Either working at the movie theater or at rehearsal, or perhaps out with my crew of friends.

7. It is Friday night...where are you (now)?
Relaxing after a long week of auditioning and coaching, usually at a bar with friends.

8. What kind of job did you have in high school?
I worked at a discount movie theater, where you could get a double feature for only $1.50.

9. What kind of job do you do have now?
I am an actor and a business coach for actors.
10. Were you a party animal? Not in high school. I didn’t learn how to live until I was 25 or so!

11. Were you considered a flirt you think?
Yes, I think people would have considered me so.

12. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir?
I was in our advanced choir. I also did a bit of marching with the band as a mascot (we were the Patriots, and I was one of the marching Minute Men for one season!)

13. Were you a nerd?
Not really- I was well-diversified in my interests, though I did do well in school. (Though, is the fact that I use "well diversified" an indication that I was, indeed, a nerd, or still am?)

14. Did you get suspended or expelled?
Never, but I was once kicked out of a class and had to register into another. Does that count? (You’d be surprised at the kinds of trouble I experiences, never my fault, of course!)

15. Can you sing the fight song?
I have a vague recollection of it, and could probably sing it if I had the lyrics in front of me.

16. Who was/were your favorite teacher(s):
Mr. Brown, AP US History and Mr. Alstrum, Civics.

17. Where did you sit during lunch?
Usually inside the MP (multi-purpose) Room, which is where band/choir practiced. Or outside, I did grow up in southern California, after all.

18. What was your school's full name?
Orange Glen High School

19. When did you graduate?
A woman never tells... =)

20. What was your school mascot?
The Patriots

21. If you could go back and do it again, would you?
I might, actually. I had some kick ass friends.

22. Did you have fun at Prom?
NO. Long story, but my boyfriend and I broke up 2 days before prom.

23. Do you still talk to the person you went to Prom with?
Nope, as a direct result of the circumstances around our break up (can we say, felony?)

24. Are you planning on going to your next reunion?
Perhaps- missed my last one because I was in Europe (darn!) but depending on the time of year I might consider it. Facebook has made it fun to reconnect with people, so I might go to rekindle those friendships in person!