Top 10 Benefits of Getting a Lumpectomy [Humor]

Pretty much the only way to deal with a difficult diagnosis is to they to find something positive about the experience. I've found that really hard to do when it comes to something as scary and life-changing as cancer, but I was still able to face my first treatment - a lumpectomy - with an unexpected dose of optimism. I've decided to include some of my observations here so, without further ado... here is my

Top 10 List of Benefits of Getting a Lumpectomy:

10) The radioactive dye they inject for the sentinel node biopsy gives you a little surprise in the bathroom - your pee turns bright blue!

9) The fashion is to die for:

8) Your sense of sarcasm is heightened. (See #9)

7) If you're lucky - and I sure was - your anesthesiology team will be incredibly good looking. There's nothing like flirting when someone's filling your veins with happy juice.*
* This is what my doctor called the cocktail he would give me to lower anxiety before putting me under. He was not kidding - I couldn't stop giggling...

6) Right after the surgery you get as much apple juice, graham crackers and ginger ale as you can stand. I could only stand one sip and bite of each, but the offer was appreciated. :)

5) I have earned the right to wear pink.

Can I have a pony?

4) The swelling makes my boob look bigger. Ah, cleavage! There you are! :)

3) The medication they give you for after-surgery pain makes you feel fuzzy.

2) A lumpectomy TAKES OUT THE CANCER.

and the #1 best thing about getting a lumpectomy:

1) The love from your friends! 

I have received so many amazing care packages and cards from people in my life. The well wishes have been too numerous to even count, but I wanted to include some shout outs of care packages I have received:

Original Silk Painting from Lee

Matzo ball soup (and more food) from Adam

Books and other gifts from Laura

A bag of organic prepared foods from Sue

Care package from Mary Ruth 

A crap ton of donations toward my theater company from a bunch of you!

...Essential oils and a diffuser from Cherie, loads of love and endless TV watching from Candice, fresh food from Tanya, the CUTEST handmade greeting cards and wee gifts from Mary, mini-bottles of bourbon from Veronica & Horatio, strawberries & chocolate from Janice, daisies from Michelle, chocolates from Virginia... I'm sure there are some I'm forgetting (and I promise to update this list as soon as I track those down!) I've also been able to spend more time talking to my mom and reconnected with my sister, which almost make it worth having cancer (I said almost.)

Seriously, your love has meant everything to me. Thank you so much for your support - YOU'RE #1!

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To read about my breast cancer story, click here. Some people have asked me how they can help. For you, I have created a post on my medical blog which will keep you updated on what kind of help I could use. You can find it by clicking here.


Erin Cronican's career as a professional actor and career coach has spanned the last 25 years in New York City, Los Angeles and San Diego. She has appeared in major feature films and on television, and has toured nationally with plays and musicals. She has worked in the advertising & marketing departments of major corporations, film production companies, theater magazines, and non-profit acting organizations. For more information, please visit http://www.erincronican.com.