Tuesday, March 25, 2008

What have I learned about Love?

One of my readers and friends, Jim, has posed a question for me to answer on this blog:

“What did you learn this week about love?”

This has been just delicious to think about. And as I was working to come up with an answer, I found myself saying, “No, that is more about gratitude.” Or, “No, that is more about accountability. Jim wants to know about LOVE.” So, in order to come up with an answer, I needed to, first, define the parameters for the question. I really want it to be something I learned, not something that I was reminded of. And I want it to be a pure example, not something muddled with expectation or results. These parameters can make answering the question harder, but delightful as well. I dove in with gusto.

But delight wore off when I realized that nothing was standing up to the parameters I set out. Each thing that would pop into my mind would start out with a warm, fuzzy glow but then would sour as I realized that it didn’t fit the mold of this exercise. And the more and more I tried to find something that fit, the more and more I had trouble coming up with anything.

And then I stopped to think about the breakdown that was before me. I looked at the exercise as a whole, and asked myself a few questions: Why did I set up parameters at all? Why did I have to create a context for this question? Is this how I approach all of life? Maybe there are some things that are without context, or scale or reference.

Maybe love needs no rules.

And so, in just trying to answer the question, “What did you learn about love this week,” I learned something very important about love. Love needs no rules. And I was reminded of why I love Jim so much, who always challenges me to explore and communicate.

PS: If you have a question I should answer- leave a comment and tell me what you want to know!


  1. With all due respect, I'm pretty sure that you meant to say that what you learned is that Love can overcome even the most brightly colored shirt. Even if that shirt is homemade.

  2. Yes! That was what I meant to say, I just couldn't find the right words. Thanks for always writing my thoughts for me so succinctly! =)


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