The crazies are shopping at Goodwill

I had an unexpected afternoon off, and after working many 14-hour days in the past few weeks I decided to treat myself with a trip to my favorite thrift shop, Goodwill. It was a typical Saturday afternoon in the store- lots of old ladies trying to use their senior discounts, and young women dragging their boyfriends through the aisles making them hold mounds of clothes while asking, “Do you like this color on me?”

I was in the dress aisle, and behind me I overheard someone whining aloud in a nasally, drawn out voice, “I can’t fiiiiind anythiiiiing!!! Where iiiiiiis it? Where iiiiiiis it?” I turned and saw an older woman with a buzz cut, dressed all in purple, who was visibly upset but also a little vacant. I thought she was talking to herself until I noticed that she was walking alongside another older woman. So I turned back to continue shopping for dresses. A few moments later, the whiner turned into my aisle, saying, “Excuuuuuse me! Excuuuuuuse me!” getting more and more agitated. I looked to see if she was talking to her friend, but there was no one anywhere near her. The “friend” was long gone and I started to realize that this woman was Crazy with a capital C. She slowly started down my aisle loudly proclaiming that “the devil wouldn’t let me find anything!” Then she steped right into me, reaching completely in front and past me to clothes on the other side of me, all the while whining like a child, “Moooove! You’re in my waaaaaaay! You’re in my waaaaaaay! Moooove!” Other people noticed this scene and gave me sympathetic looks. I picked up my hand basket and moved to the other side of the aisle. The woman started swearing, presumably at me as she pushed passed me, “F- you. F-you. A-hole...” I just smiled, took a deep breath and moved on, realizing that though I had the right to resist or complain to her about her behavior, it would be much better to just remain peaceful. A few minutes later, one of the witnesses came up to me and said that the woman had locked herself in a dressing room and wouldn’t come out. I just shook my head and thanked her for the report. It’s nice to know that the other shoppers were looking out for me.

I cherish these New York moments...