Holiday Joke that never gets old

Dear Friends & Family,

The best part of holidays is the time spent together doing small
things, like preparing meals or taking time on a cold snowy day to do
something simple like baking cookies. If you are so motivated, here is
a recipe for what I think is the perfect holiday cookie! Please be
sure to follow the instructions to a "t".

Subject: Holiday Cookie Recipe ( follow directions closely )

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
2 tsp lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Cabo Wabo Tequilla

Sample the Cabo Wabo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the
Cabo Wabo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one
level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer... Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar... Beat again. At this point it's best to
make sure the Cabo Wabo is still OK, try another cup ... just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and
chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor...

Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just
pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cabo Wabo to check for
tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet.

Check the Cabo Wabo . Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can
find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget
to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window,
finish the Cabo Wabo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.