Time to open up a bit

It's been a while since I blogged about personal things that are happening in the world of Erin, so I thought I would take this time to let you in on some of my "goings-on."

I think I am going to quit one of my "day" jobs. The lucrative one. And soon. The reason being... the executive director of this company is an excellent people person and a good "face" on the company, but is not very good at managing employees. I work part time, from home, for a maximum of 25 hours per week. But even if I have already worked my hours for the week, she somehow expects that if she or a board member drops the ball on a project, me or my co-worker need to jump to their rescue. Which causes a lot of overtime that we do not get paid for, except to say that the following week I can work fewer hours. But this is actually not the case, because the following week the same thing happens all over again.

This last time, I expressed my concern that by adding this last minute project, I would not be able to finish the other very important project for that week. I told her I could easily do 25 hours, but no more, and she could choose which project she wanted me to focus on. I could even get this last minute project done quickly by working more hours per day at the beginning of the week, but I could not go over 25 total because I has a show opening. Well, this was not a good thing to say, apparently, because her reaction was to say, "I can see you are very busy. Your acting career sounds like it is going well. Maybe it is time for us to look for someone who is more available for us."

I don't take kindly to being threatened, or respond well to the type of conversation that followed. She proceeded to tell me about several areas of my work that she had been unhappy with (news to me). Clearly, she was in no mood to actually try to work through the problems, but only use them as fodder in trying to get me to take on the project I did not have time to do. She said something like, "Moving forward, we have to find a way of working together that is good for the both of us." So I said, "Um, I have just be handed a last minute project. I told you I would do it but other things would have to wait. I reorganize my schedule so that I complete the project in the record time you are requiring, and now you are telling me you think you might need to find someone else? I am not sure, at this point, if I WANT to find a better way to work together. I am going to have to really think about this situation and figure out what I want to do."

Needless to say, she started backpedaling immediately, saying that she had a really awful weekend and that things were falling apart around her. Never apologizing, but backpedaling. Since then she has been cordial, basically acting like nothing has happened, though she did email me to say that, sure enough, the project was NOT supposed to be on my plate (it was for someone else), and I should have told her that when we first started speaking. What????

This happened almost two week ago, so I have been preparing myself for leaving. I mean, even if we forget what happened, this feeling will still be hanging over me. This is not the first time I have been treated strangely (I was admonished for using more than one exclamation point in my emails- true story). And there is some sort of weird hierarchy (read: corporate) where it is clearly unreasonable for me to speak my mind, or hold them to their commitment of only asking me to work 25 hours per week. It's bad energy, and the work does not fulfill me, so it is time to go.

What this does for me, though, is it allows me to open up possibilities for doing other consulting work that I do enjoy, in the areas of arts marketing and coaching. So, if you happen to know anyone who needs a marketing consultant (including web design) or wants someone to coach them through some audition monologues or how to make it in the business of acting, I am your gal.

PS- No exclamation points were used in the making of this rant. But I did use 4 question marks in a row. Snap.