ER•IN (noun) - A girl of Irish heritage, who grew up in California and now lives the life of an actor in New York City.
CRON•I•CALS (noun) - a term that describes the shenanigans that ensue when Cronican chronicles her adventures.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Could the strike be over?
The Transport Workers Union Local 100 has, indeed, gone on strike. After postponing the deadline for several days, the workers walked off the job early Tuesday morning which meant that most of us in Queens have not bothered to go to work since then. To get to work, we would have to either a) walk; b) take a cab that has at least 4 people in it (per NYC strike guidelines) and wait in tons of traffic, or; c) Take a cab to one of the non-MTA-run train systems and wait in long lines. You can see why we decided to not work. Tom and I, instead, have spent hours watching movies, drinking and napping. I feel like I am getting away with something having time off on the weekdays. It’s like when you were a kid and snow kept you from going to school... Ok, so that never happened to me because I grew up in San Diego County, but you get the point. Unexpected vacations are fun!
But, alas, our time for fun and games is coming to an end. A mediator has gone between the two sides and has gotten the union leaders to agree to go back to work while negotiations continue. The proposal still has to be approved by the union’s executive board, but NYC can expect the transit workers to be back on the job as soon as tonight. Thank Dog- I still have holiday shopping to do.
In the meantime, I luckily have found a job to keep me occupied this afternoon. I am doing background work on a little HBO series called “The Sopranos.” The studio is in Queens, so I can easily take a cab there.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Thought for the day
"Anything I've ever done that ultimately was worthwhile... initially scared me to death.“ -- Betty Bender
Think about it: Love, Career, Dreams, Goals, Friendship ... the list goes on and on. Anytime you are up to something big, it is bound to scare the crap out of you. So, whenever you feel scared, just give yourself a big hug and an congratulatory smile... on the other side of that fear is a huge reward.
(The above quote is courtesy of HappyNews.com, which I highly recommend as a chaser to every day news...)
Thursday, December 15, 2005
7 hours before the MTA workers strike
For those of you who do not live in New York City, you may not be aware that at 12:01am tomorrow morning, the contract between the state and the New York transit workers expires, and unless negotiations yield an agreement between the two parties, the Transport Workers Union, Local 100, will strike. That probably doesn’t seem to be a big deal for most people outside the city. But I sold my car before I moved out to New York, and so I rely on public transportation to get everywhere except my immediate neighborhood (for which I rely on my legs). If a strike occurs, the city’s vast subway and bus system will come to a grinding halt and the more than 7 million people who use the MTA everyday will be stranded or, worse, will not be able to get to work.
All of this compounded by the fact that in the state of New York, it is illegal for public workers to strike (Taylor’s Law) and anyone striking will be personally be subjected to massive fines.
Now, I am a member of 2 labor unions (SAG & Actors’ Equity) so I support my fellow brothers and sisters in their fight to win fair wages and decent benefits. Yet I am torn between that and my belief in state legislation to protect the masses, namely the fact that it is ILLEGAL to strike. Upon further research, I became haunted by the burning question- “How can a union fight to protect its members when it is not allowed to pull their workers from a job under any circumstances (including an expired contract)?”
I understand that Taylor’s Law is there to protect the citizens of New York and local commerce by trying to avoid loss due to public workers striking. But the fact that Taylor’s Law is in effect gives a strong upper hand to the bureaucrats and it is entirely upon the union leadership to accept terms or face punishment. Who will protect the workers if the unions are not allowed to stand up for them? What muscle does a union have if they are never allowed to stop working? I feel for the workers- most of them probably do not want to strike and would be more than willing to make deep concessions in order to keep working. But this is the reason unions were created in the first place. Alone, man does not have the bargaining power to ask for what is fair and equitable for a huge corporation. But as a union, the collective can make objective decisions that we subjectively may not be able to make and, as a group, stand up to the corporation. Taylor's Law has taken bargaining power away from the unions by making it illegal to strike- who's going to slap some restrictions on big business?
But with all of that, I feel for the everyday New Yorker’s who will suffer if the workers strike. I feel for the economy which will plummet at the rate of $400 million per day. These are two equally compelling and important sides to one big problem, and both cannot win. The injustice of it all makes me crazy!
To top it all off, MTA recently gave all riders a “holiday fare bonus” by which people either get 1/2 price fares on the weekends, or those who buy monthly cards get 35 days for the price of 31. So why did MTA give money to the riders when they could have used some of that “surplus” for employee benefits and raises????
I tell you, I ought to run for office and fix things...
Monday, December 12, 2005
Thought for the day
Courtesy of my good friend, Joey:
“As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”
-- H.L. Mencken, July 26, 1920, in The Evening Sun
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Today's Happiness List...
Happiness is...
• Walking my dog in the snow
• A Saturday clear of appointments so I can adequately nurse a hangover
• Being in New York and seeing merriment around me
• My roommates- they are pretty kick-ass cool
• Having friends back home who write to see how I am doing
• Friends calling me when they visit New York so we can have lunch together
• A warm radiator
• Doing my monthly grocery shopping and having lots of yummy food to eat any time of the day
• Being in love
• Knowing that I conquered the dream of moving to a brand new city on my own
• Pizza by the slice
• My sister and I talking several times a week
• My dog in her nesting phase (time of the year when she pretends her stuffed animals are her babies and no longer wants to kill them- instead she cleans them and cuddles with them. It’s really the cutest thing I have ever seen.)
• Going to dance class and knowing that not only am I preparing to be a better performer, but I am also exercising
• Part time work that allows me the freedom to audition or pursue auditions
• Having people read my blog and challenge me to share my life with others
Friday, December 2, 2005
Award Nominee?
Well, kind of. I just did an ego search online and found my name on a theatre awards ballot, eligible to be voted “Outstanding Actress” for the role of Cindy in “Suds.” I spent 2 months during the Spring/Summer 2005 in West Palm Beach, Florida doing this show and was surprised to see it listed on the ballot. I don’t imagine that I would win- not because we weren’t good but because “Suds” is not usually the type of show that garners awards. The show was extended 3 times and we all worked really hard (and had a blast while doing so.) Voting is already done, so don’t even think about trying to bribe the critics on my behalf. Just keep your fingers crossed for me...
You can see photos and reviews from the show here.
The link to the ballot (with my name) is here (note, they may not keep this ballot up indefinitely...)
The link to info about the awards is here.
You can see photos and reviews from the show here.
The link to the ballot (with my name) is here (note, they may not keep this ballot up indefinitely...)
The link to info about the awards is here.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Beautiful Day
I was out walking the dog this morning. The air was damp and warmer than usual for this time of year. It’s in the low 60s and it was amazing to be able to enjoy the outdoors without a scarf or gloves or having to hurry my dog through her peeing rituals because of the ghastly wind. I took in a deep breath and looked at the sky. It was overcast, which was probably why it was so warm. The clouds insulated our city, keeping the temperature bearable, even, dare I say, balmy. The trees were all grey and brown, with no leaves to speak of. I looked right as I stepped into the street, making sure it was safe to enter the traffic. My dog had done her “business” faster than normal (par for the course on a nice day- she takes eons when it is bitterly cold), so I could take the walk back to the apartment at a more leisurely pace.
It is amazing how nice weather can bring out all types of people into the public. People of all ages were sitting out on their stoops chatting. As I walked down the street I heard at least 4 different languages: English, Greek, Spanish and maybe... Portuguese? Little old men and ladies with their overcoats swallowing them up were walking, carrying plastic bags filled with knitting. Or oranges, perhaps. I see one such woman across the street, and I pause to enjoy watching her run her daily errands. Blue hat, glasses, couldn’t be younger than 80. I wondered where she was coming from and where she was going. Did she live on my street? Was she, like my landlord, living in the same home she was born in? Did she have children, or was she all alone this Thanksgiving? She looked at me, and I could see by the glint in her eye that she wanted to say something. But instead, she lowered her eyes... and hawked a loogie on the sidewalk.
Dog Bless America.
PS: Have you ever wanted to type a phrase like “hawked a loogie” but realize that you have no fucking idea how to spell it, even though it is phrase slammed into psyche from the time you were in the 3rd grade? Try looking it up online sometime- you get all kinds of interesting returns...
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Cats vs Dogs = LOVE ?
Ok, so just follow me along this stream of consciousness...
Dogs typically offer an overabundance of enthusiastic, affectionate love and you always know how they feel about you.
Cats typically offer the type of love that says, “Of course I love you. If I didn’t love you, I would have run away by now. So, let me nap, why don’t you?”
Men tend to prefer dogs to cats as pets
Women tend to prefer cats to dogs as pets
Men, in love, tend to act like cats
Women, in love, tend to act like dogs
Does this mean that because men prefer dogs, that they want unconditional love that they don’t have to work so hard for?
Does this mean that because women prefer cats, they want the type of love they always have to work hard for?
And if all of the above is true, did my last relationship end because I had a dog and he had a cat?
Temp/PA Update
Yesterday
Employer: Giorgio Armani. Position: Sales Assistant. Tasks: pour through hundreds of order confirmations to make sure that what was shipped to the stores was actually what was ordered.
Job review: Pay could have been better but I got to work in a quiet office with a gorgeous view of the Empire State Building. Also was allowed 1 hour for lunch and could have coffee at my desk.
Job rating: B+
Today
Position: Personal Assistant. Tasks: Reorganize home office, which included cleaning off entire desk and categorizing everything on it, then creating a system for where everything will go. Completed job with label maker.
Job Review: This is the first step to assisting my new employer with her at-home business. Her stunning loft in right in the middle of SoHo, which means I’ll have a great time window shopping when I get off of work.
Job Rating: B+
Friday, November 18, 2005
Life as a Temp/PA
I just got hired as a part time personal assistant (PA for short) for a female entrepreneur who needs someone to organize her life and help her with marketing odds and ends for her business. She is also passing along my info to some other people who need help in case I want more hours/money. Can I tell you how excited I am??? She completely supportive of my auditioning needs, and I think a job with this much task variety will keep me from getting bored. I am also temping, which is fun all on its own. Between those two jobs and the theatre I am pursuing, I plan on being pretty busy in the coming months with some crazy projects. That being said, I want to keep you updated on what it is like to fight for a living wage while pursuing acting in The Big Apple. Surely the stories will be plentiful, filled with hi-jinx and near fatal misses. So in future blog entries, keep your eyes open for little updates on what tasks my two bosses (temp and PA) are having me do.
Peace out, homies.
Peace out, homies.
Friday, November 11, 2005
Things to do in the days before you turn 30
- Sleep. A lot. It would suck to conk out during your birthday party. The “over the hill” jokes would never cease.
- Look through your old yearbook and imagine all of the popular girls as now being fat mothers of 4.
- While looking through said yearbook, do NOT allow yourself to think that everyone in it is married but you. It is a choice, dammit.
- Become unemployed. It is really important to go into your 3rd decade with few to no prospects.
- Figure out how old you’d be in dog years: that obscenely larger number will make you feel better.
- Go online to find out how many hot celebrities are over the age of 29.
- Honor your love of “Glam Rock,” Nerds candy, Twin Peaks and classic Nintendo.
- Contemplate everything you thought you would do in your twenties, but haven’t, and mentally shift that list to your thirties. C’mon, it is socially acceptable for a thirty-something to want to leap frog through Central Park.
- Oh, god, I just said thirty-something. Wasn’t that a show in the 1990s about old people?
- Abandon “Things To Do” lists. They... uh... inhibit spontaneity. Yeah, that’s it.
- Look through your old yearbook and imagine all of the popular girls as now being fat mothers of 4.
- While looking through said yearbook, do NOT allow yourself to think that everyone in it is married but you. It is a choice, dammit.
- Become unemployed. It is really important to go into your 3rd decade with few to no prospects.
- Figure out how old you’d be in dog years: that obscenely larger number will make you feel better.
- Go online to find out how many hot celebrities are over the age of 29.
- Honor your love of “Glam Rock,” Nerds candy, Twin Peaks and classic Nintendo.
- Contemplate everything you thought you would do in your twenties, but haven’t, and mentally shift that list to your thirties. C’mon, it is socially acceptable for a thirty-something to want to leap frog through Central Park.
- Oh, god, I just said thirty-something. Wasn’t that a show in the 1990s about old people?
- Abandon “Things To Do” lists. They... uh... inhibit spontaneity. Yeah, that’s it.
Saturday, November 5, 2005
I Love Auditioning (not)
Yesterday I celebrated 3 months living in New York, and today I went to my first New York audition. It is for a musical that was produced on Broadway in the 60s but has been rewritten and is receiving a showcase production in January. I sent in my headshot & resume to the director several weeks ago (per the submission requirements), and received an email shortly thereafter inviting me to audition. Yippee! In the email, the director outlined what he was looking for:
“Please prepare a one-minute monologue that will show you off to your best advantage. I want to see and hear YOU, and a longer monologue will not be necessary. If you are right for one or more of the roles, you will be called back at a later date to read from the script. There will be NO singing auditions until a later callback.”
Imagine being called in to interview for a job, but receiving instruction like this. Seemingly specific, yet open ended enough to cause extreme anxiety. I needed to find out what role I might be right for so I could show the same part of “ME“ for the audition. Did they want to see the girl-next-door ME, the good-girl-gone-bad ME, the timid school girl-but-vixen-underneath ME-- which ME did they want??? So, I did some research and found that I am right for any one of 3 characters, 2 of which will be played by the same woman. This poses a problem, as I want to be considered for everything I am right for, but I cannot possibly portray 3 different personality types in the same monologue. ARGH!
It is at this point when I start to think that maybe I should not go to the audition at all- beg off with some lame excuse about emergency surgery, or a death in the family, or my dog needing to have her teeth cleaned. You know, something they would not dare to dispute. As a last ditch effort, I go back to my repertoire of monologues to see if there is anything that would remotely work for this piece. But nothing I have is quite right, except my comedic monologue about Santa Claus being on trial for sexual harassment by one of his reindeer (a favorite around Christmas-time). However, the audition is being held in a church and there is some foul language in the monologue and I don’t think that being struck down by lightning is in the cards for me right now. By now it is Thursday and the audition is Saturday and time is running out to memorize something new. So, I have a choice to make. But, I am too chicken to make it then so I decide to wait until Friday.
On Friday I think about the frustrations of being a performer and not knowing what the director is looking for. But then I remembered that, duh, I am a director too. And what is MY thought process when I, as a director, hold auditions? Well, in the first 10 seconds I decide if the actor is good or not. And if s/he is good, I then try to figure out what roles I have that they would be good for. That’s it. I don’t think about what type of monologue they have selected, or if they are wearing the right outfit, or if their resume is on 30# paper.
This revelation is a breakthrough in rational thinking! I head home immediately and pull out my monologue repertoire- I find the monologue that is the most ME and hope that it is still memorized. By Dog it is! It is now Friday afternoon and the audition is in 24 hours, and I can feel confident that I will do well! I will persevere! I am excited and cannot wait until the audition arrives!
Well, I spoke too soon because I think it is written in stone that an actor should never go into an audition with confidence. Ever. Friday night/Saturday morning I was plagued with ”actor’s nightmare“ dreams- ones where I am in a play but I have no idea what the character is or the play is, but I am on stage and the audience is waiting. Another where I am at a callback and all of the other actors have their audition materials memorized but I haven’t seen them and director thinks I am horribly unprepared. I woke up with a sense of dread. Should I do this? Maybe I can just sleep in, but it would be bad not to show up. Darn it. I have to go.
Other than accidentally getting onto an un-airconditioned subway car and having uncomfortable shoes, the ride to the audition was uneventful. I got to the church, signed in, and waited among 5-6 other audition hopefuls. We didn’t look each other straight in the eye, but looked just past each other mumbling our monologues to ourselves. Had an outsider looked in, they would have thought we were possessed people waiting to get excised.
I finally get called into the church hall to do my audition. The room is massive and I am asked to stand up on the pulpit to deliver my monologue. Those who know me know the irony of this. I shake the hand of the director, who is the only one watching the audition, and walk up onto Dog’s stage. ”This is it,“ I thought. ”Make it or break it. Move it or lose it, and all of those... other cliches...“ Just as I turn to start to deliver my speech, I hear a noise from the floor of the church. I peer to the back and cannot believe my eyes. ”Oh, I hope you don’t mind,“ said the director. ”They are doing a bit of cleaning.“ There, in the back of the church, was a man with a vacuum cleaner. A very LOUD vacuum cleaner. ”Just project, dear,“ said the director. “I’ll let you know if you need to speak louder.“
All of the preparation, and fear, and uncertainty, and sleepless nights, etc, etc, etc, and the moment is shared with... a vacuum? I started to laugh. I haven’t laughed that hard in a really long time. ”No problem,“ I said. ”I always liked improv.“
Well, the monologue went just fine. And I got a callback. For the lead role. So, if anyone asks if acting can exist in a vacuum, you can tell them, ”I don’t know, but I know it can be done in the same room as one.“
Yuck Yuck Yuck. =)
“Please prepare a one-minute monologue that will show you off to your best advantage. I want to see and hear YOU, and a longer monologue will not be necessary. If you are right for one or more of the roles, you will be called back at a later date to read from the script. There will be NO singing auditions until a later callback.”
Imagine being called in to interview for a job, but receiving instruction like this. Seemingly specific, yet open ended enough to cause extreme anxiety. I needed to find out what role I might be right for so I could show the same part of “ME“ for the audition. Did they want to see the girl-next-door ME, the good-girl-gone-bad ME, the timid school girl-but-vixen-underneath ME-- which ME did they want??? So, I did some research and found that I am right for any one of 3 characters, 2 of which will be played by the same woman. This poses a problem, as I want to be considered for everything I am right for, but I cannot possibly portray 3 different personality types in the same monologue. ARGH!
It is at this point when I start to think that maybe I should not go to the audition at all- beg off with some lame excuse about emergency surgery, or a death in the family, or my dog needing to have her teeth cleaned. You know, something they would not dare to dispute. As a last ditch effort, I go back to my repertoire of monologues to see if there is anything that would remotely work for this piece. But nothing I have is quite right, except my comedic monologue about Santa Claus being on trial for sexual harassment by one of his reindeer (a favorite around Christmas-time). However, the audition is being held in a church and there is some foul language in the monologue and I don’t think that being struck down by lightning is in the cards for me right now. By now it is Thursday and the audition is Saturday and time is running out to memorize something new. So, I have a choice to make. But, I am too chicken to make it then so I decide to wait until Friday.
On Friday I think about the frustrations of being a performer and not knowing what the director is looking for. But then I remembered that, duh, I am a director too. And what is MY thought process when I, as a director, hold auditions? Well, in the first 10 seconds I decide if the actor is good or not. And if s/he is good, I then try to figure out what roles I have that they would be good for. That’s it. I don’t think about what type of monologue they have selected, or if they are wearing the right outfit, or if their resume is on 30# paper.
This revelation is a breakthrough in rational thinking! I head home immediately and pull out my monologue repertoire- I find the monologue that is the most ME and hope that it is still memorized. By Dog it is! It is now Friday afternoon and the audition is in 24 hours, and I can feel confident that I will do well! I will persevere! I am excited and cannot wait until the audition arrives!
Well, I spoke too soon because I think it is written in stone that an actor should never go into an audition with confidence. Ever. Friday night/Saturday morning I was plagued with ”actor’s nightmare“ dreams- ones where I am in a play but I have no idea what the character is or the play is, but I am on stage and the audience is waiting. Another where I am at a callback and all of the other actors have their audition materials memorized but I haven’t seen them and director thinks I am horribly unprepared. I woke up with a sense of dread. Should I do this? Maybe I can just sleep in, but it would be bad not to show up. Darn it. I have to go.
Other than accidentally getting onto an un-airconditioned subway car and having uncomfortable shoes, the ride to the audition was uneventful. I got to the church, signed in, and waited among 5-6 other audition hopefuls. We didn’t look each other straight in the eye, but looked just past each other mumbling our monologues to ourselves. Had an outsider looked in, they would have thought we were possessed people waiting to get excised.
I finally get called into the church hall to do my audition. The room is massive and I am asked to stand up on the pulpit to deliver my monologue. Those who know me know the irony of this. I shake the hand of the director, who is the only one watching the audition, and walk up onto Dog’s stage. ”This is it,“ I thought. ”Make it or break it. Move it or lose it, and all of those... other cliches...“ Just as I turn to start to deliver my speech, I hear a noise from the floor of the church. I peer to the back and cannot believe my eyes. ”Oh, I hope you don’t mind,“ said the director. ”They are doing a bit of cleaning.“ There, in the back of the church, was a man with a vacuum cleaner. A very LOUD vacuum cleaner. ”Just project, dear,“ said the director. “I’ll let you know if you need to speak louder.“
All of the preparation, and fear, and uncertainty, and sleepless nights, etc, etc, etc, and the moment is shared with... a vacuum? I started to laugh. I haven’t laughed that hard in a really long time. ”No problem,“ I said. ”I always liked improv.“
Well, the monologue went just fine. And I got a callback. For the lead role. So, if anyone asks if acting can exist in a vacuum, you can tell them, ”I don’t know, but I know it can be done in the same room as one.“
Yuck Yuck Yuck. =)
Friday, October 28, 2005
And so it goes...

I am unemployed again. Thankfully. Without regret. And more focused on the future than ever. God, I love New York.
Artwork courtesy of my very favorite comic "Mutts"
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Choca-holic
I almost died today from too much chocolate. OK, not really, but I wanted to get your attention and death by chocolate is nothing if not attention-grabbing. I was in my stone-cold office today and my boss asked me to go pick up some coffee for us at a cafe/bakery around the corner. This is in lieu of having any heat in the building since the super has decided we are not ready for heat yet. My boss handed me a $5 bill and told me to get whatever I wanted. Bonus! Being a huge coffee drinker, I was delighted to make the trek and proceeded to descend 8 floors to 5th Avenue, walk the 1/2 block to 18th Street and 1/2 block over to the cafe called City Bakery. When I walked in, there were two lines of about 10 people each gathered around the center coffee station. "Wow," I thought, "this place is popular." The lines were long but I was getting paid to stand there so I didn't worry. I got into the back of the line and took a look around. The bakery had two floors, and the decor was conservative but modern. There were many people sitting & chatting, waiting for table service both on the main floor and the 2nd floor loft. I was waiting in the western-most line, which moved swiftly, so I needed to make my decision quickly. There was no menu posted, so I looked around to try to find what they were serving.
"Let's see, " I thought, "They have 10 different kinds of homemade cookies and at least 7 containers of coffee, as well as breads and sandwiches..." Then something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye- a sign pointing toward the "Chocolate Room." Warning bells should have gone off, but instead I got inspired, and decided I would order a hot chocolate.
"Would you like a homemade marshmellow with that?" the perky barista asked. I stared at her blankly as the words washed over me, and then I realized that she wasn't kidding. "Would I?!? Yes, please!" I exclaimed. I watched as she dished my cocoa out of a soup basin with a ladel, added a gigantic white cube to the cup, then sprinkled chocolate fairy dust on top and topped it with a lid. I walked to the cashier, and proceeded to be charged $1.75 for the coffee and $5.50 for the marshmellow laden hot chocolate. I was stunned- the audacity of charging so much for cocoa- isn't there an amendment prohibiting this? I was lucky that I brought more money with me to cover the cost of the choco-mortgage. I smiled forcefully and paid, and carried my treasure back to the office.
When I got there I told Gail (my boss) the cost of the cocoa and she, being a true Jewish matriarch, proceeded to gasp in a distinctly Yiddish fashion and clutch her chest. We both agreed that this hot chocolate had better be pretty damned good for $5.50. I opened up the cup to view the homemade marshmellow goodness, and stirred the cocoa with my spoon to find that the cocoa was the consistency of thick chowder. Think: a Godiva chocolate bar that has melted into a cup.I paused, not knowing what to do, because I was pretty sure that if I consumed this decadent sludge I would go into cardiac arrest. I showed it to Gail, and she said, "Well, looks like you got your $5.50 worth. Drink up."
It has been an hour since I returned for the Choco-Cafe, and after consuming 1/3 of this concoction I think I have added 5-6 cavities to my ever growing list of bodily concerns. My stomach is rumbling a bit, and I am a little jittery. The lesson I have learned from this is that when ordering cocoa, one should be prepared to ask, "Will I go into a sugar coma from drinking this?"
Or, maybe I should just stick to coffee...
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Morning Song
"Let the phone ring, let's go back to sleep
Let the world spin outside our door- you're the only one that I wanna see
Tell your boss you're sick, hurry, get back in I'm getting cold
Get over here and warm my hands up, boy, it's you they love to hold
Stop thinking about what your sister said
And stop worrying about it, yes the cat's already been fed
Come on darlin', let's go back to bed
Put the phone machine on hold
Leave the dishes in the sink
Do not answer the door
It's you that I adore -
I'm gonna give you some more
We'll sit on the front porch, the sun can warm my feet
You can drink your coffee with sugar and cream
I'll drink my decaf herbal tea
Pretend we're perfect strangers and that we've never met
My, you remind me of a man I used to sleep with
That's a face I'd never forget
You can be Henry Miller and I'll be Anais Nin
Except this time it'll be even better,
We'll stay together in the end
Come on darlin', let's go back to bed
Put the phone machine on hold
Leave the dishes in the sink
Do not answer the door
It's you that I adore -
I'm gonna give you some more
Let the phone ring, let's go back to sleep."
-- from "Pieces of You" by Jewel
Let the world spin outside our door- you're the only one that I wanna see
Tell your boss you're sick, hurry, get back in I'm getting cold
Get over here and warm my hands up, boy, it's you they love to hold
Stop thinking about what your sister said
And stop worrying about it, yes the cat's already been fed
Come on darlin', let's go back to bed
Put the phone machine on hold
Leave the dishes in the sink
Do not answer the door
It's you that I adore -
I'm gonna give you some more
We'll sit on the front porch, the sun can warm my feet
You can drink your coffee with sugar and cream
I'll drink my decaf herbal tea
Pretend we're perfect strangers and that we've never met
My, you remind me of a man I used to sleep with
That's a face I'd never forget
You can be Henry Miller and I'll be Anais Nin
Except this time it'll be even better,
We'll stay together in the end
Come on darlin', let's go back to bed
Put the phone machine on hold
Leave the dishes in the sink
Do not answer the door
It's you that I adore -
I'm gonna give you some more
Let the phone ring, let's go back to sleep."
-- from "Pieces of You" by Jewel
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
There's a first time for everything
Prior to moving to New York City this summer, I have lived in southern California since 1984. The weather in CA is famed the world over- warm, but not too warm, breezy but not too breezy. The weather never gets extreme, and just about every day is a good day to be outside.
Fast forward to New York. I moved here August 5, which was listed as one of the top ten hottest days in NYC in the last 10 years. It was sticky and miserable. Right now, it is below 55 degrees and rainy. And I don’t even want to think about what it is going to be like in December. But there is one thing that New York has over San Diego with regard to weather...
Consistency.
In southern CA, it is perfectly normal for it to be 80 degrees one day and 60 degrees the next, or even both temperatures the same day. You always have to carry a jacket and layer 2 times over, regardless if it is summer or winter. There is still a good chance you will be unprepared and it will be too hot or too cold, considering the fact that no one knows how to properly operate the thermostats in California establishments. But in New York, you can count on the weather to be what it always is that time of year. Summer: Hot. Winter: Cold. Spring & Fall: Perfect. Indoors: The opposite of outdoors. Which means that now that it is fall, I don’t have to worry about it being freakishly hot and needing skimpy clothing (except for going to clubs...) I was cleaning my room today and I looked at my pairs of shorts and miniskirts and realized that I will not be needing them again until, oh, let’s see, April. And I don’t have a huge amount of closet space, so today, for the first time in my life, I created a pile of summer clothes to pack away until the spring. I have never had to do this before and it was almost a religious experience- paying homage to days past, putting the precious vestments to rest, and looking forward to that blessed day when I will be able to unearth the garments and allow them to adorn my body again. I am sure the novelty of this ritual will wear off but until then, I am looking forward to learning more about how to survive in more extreme (but more consistent) weather.
Speaking of clothes, another “first” for the Theatrdiva is dropping my laundry off to be washed, dried and folded by someone else. YES! You’ve heard me correctly- I was able to drop off my laundry at the laundromat and for a nominal fee have them fluff and fold to their little heart’s content. Those who have lived with me know how much I despise doing laundry, so the thought of paying a few bucks for people to do it for me seems positively decadent. The most beneficial result? Since I didn’t spend all of my energy washing the clothes, I had enough energy to put them away- thus avoiding the “clothing on the bed in the morning, moved to the floor when I go to bed, to be moved back to the bed during the day, saying ‘I swear I’ll put it away today’ to just be put back on the floor at night.” I have been known to leave clean clothes in the corner until they have been there so long that they are no longer clean and have to be washed again. Bad monkey!
So, here’s to consistently bad weather for the next 6 months, and to the brilliant entrepreneur who thought up the fluff and fold laundry service- this bottle of wine is toasted to you!
Wednesday, October 5, 2005
A disturbing paradox
I have something I want to get off my chest. It’s something I have pondered for a few days now, and I finally want to say something about it.
As I was getting ready for bed a few weeks ago, I got on the floor to do my nightly sit-ups. As I started to do the crunches, I was very aware of the way my stomach bulged up every time I did the crunch, then flattened out as I relaxed. I thought to myself, “Don’t worry about that roll of fat you’re seeing- it will go away once you do enough sit ups.” Mind you, that “roll of fat” is in no way visible when I am standing, sitting, or doing anything but sit-ups, but the idea that I looked this way right now upset me to the point that I had to make an immediate mental plan for getting rid of it. I felt horrible, unattractive, and depressed.
A few days ago I was putting lotion on after a shower and noticed that if I put a certain type of pressure on the back of my upper thighs, a slight cellulite affect appeared. I was absolutely horrified, and I was so upset my eyes actually started to tear up. My physical self image, which at that point was pretty good, immediately fell through the floor. A few days before, I had rejoiced with the fact that the weather was warm enough to wear shorts and cute mini-skirts. Now, every time I see those shorts I want to cry. I walk by a mirror and see a girl with fat thighs and a bulbous stomach and it seems insurmountable.
After these two incidents, I have become increasingly aware of how my body feels inside my clothing- constantly wondering if my clothes are too tight for me. I am aware of every bite of food I take, concerned that maybe moving to New York has made me gain too much weight and I will never be able to lose it. I went out to buy skin firming cream, and have cut meat out of my diet again. I felt sexy and desirable a few weeks ago and now I feel fat and unattractive. I have become obsessed with making sure I am exercising every day, and if I don’t, or if I eat something decadent, I can’t fully enjoy it. I am concerned about everything I am doing wrong.
And I am a size 4.
Here’s my beef:
Why is it that we are so able and willing to accept our emotional idiosyncrasies but are utterly incapable of accepting our physical idiosyncrasies?
Over the years and through many long term relationships, I have come to know my emotional idiosyncrasies very well. I know that when I get mad, I just need 3 minutes of not having to explain myself and after that 3 minutes, I will become my usual, easy-going self again. I know that I have a tendency to get scared when I become vulnerable, but that this vulnerability can be one of the more endearing qualities about me. I know that I don’t like human chewing sounds, any type of condiment besides ketchup and tabasco, and I love to eat candy slowly, letting the treat melt in my mouth which can take anywhere from 2-10 minutes to finish. These are all things I don’t try to fix or apologize for. These are things that make me... well, Me.
So, why can’t we feel this way about our physical idiosyncrasies? Why can’t we just chuckle at ourselves and say, “Well, that’s the way I am, and I am comfortable with myself. I am healthy, I am dating a great guy who finds me attractive, and I am capable of doing anything I want without physical limitation.” Why can’t I see myself for the wonderful physical attributes I do have instead of lambasting myself for what I am lacking (or have too much of?) The thoughts are driving me insane, and I just marvel at the vast difference between our physical and emotional self-images. Does society do this to us? Do we do it to ourselves? Wouldn’t we cut someone out of our lives if they were as critical of us as we are of ourselves? Why do we poison ourselves?
I don’t really have any answers. I think some of what I am feeling is because of my move to New York, my lack of routine and the enormous amount of time on my hands. But I just started a new job and will have less time to think about how my body looks in a mirror. But more importantly, I am slowly becoming aware that my physical attributes are what make me Me. And being Me can be a very cool thing.
As I was getting ready for bed a few weeks ago, I got on the floor to do my nightly sit-ups. As I started to do the crunches, I was very aware of the way my stomach bulged up every time I did the crunch, then flattened out as I relaxed. I thought to myself, “Don’t worry about that roll of fat you’re seeing- it will go away once you do enough sit ups.” Mind you, that “roll of fat” is in no way visible when I am standing, sitting, or doing anything but sit-ups, but the idea that I looked this way right now upset me to the point that I had to make an immediate mental plan for getting rid of it. I felt horrible, unattractive, and depressed.
A few days ago I was putting lotion on after a shower and noticed that if I put a certain type of pressure on the back of my upper thighs, a slight cellulite affect appeared. I was absolutely horrified, and I was so upset my eyes actually started to tear up. My physical self image, which at that point was pretty good, immediately fell through the floor. A few days before, I had rejoiced with the fact that the weather was warm enough to wear shorts and cute mini-skirts. Now, every time I see those shorts I want to cry. I walk by a mirror and see a girl with fat thighs and a bulbous stomach and it seems insurmountable.
After these two incidents, I have become increasingly aware of how my body feels inside my clothing- constantly wondering if my clothes are too tight for me. I am aware of every bite of food I take, concerned that maybe moving to New York has made me gain too much weight and I will never be able to lose it. I went out to buy skin firming cream, and have cut meat out of my diet again. I felt sexy and desirable a few weeks ago and now I feel fat and unattractive. I have become obsessed with making sure I am exercising every day, and if I don’t, or if I eat something decadent, I can’t fully enjoy it. I am concerned about everything I am doing wrong.
And I am a size 4.
Here’s my beef:
Why is it that we are so able and willing to accept our emotional idiosyncrasies but are utterly incapable of accepting our physical idiosyncrasies?
Over the years and through many long term relationships, I have come to know my emotional idiosyncrasies very well. I know that when I get mad, I just need 3 minutes of not having to explain myself and after that 3 minutes, I will become my usual, easy-going self again. I know that I have a tendency to get scared when I become vulnerable, but that this vulnerability can be one of the more endearing qualities about me. I know that I don’t like human chewing sounds, any type of condiment besides ketchup and tabasco, and I love to eat candy slowly, letting the treat melt in my mouth which can take anywhere from 2-10 minutes to finish. These are all things I don’t try to fix or apologize for. These are things that make me... well, Me.
So, why can’t we feel this way about our physical idiosyncrasies? Why can’t we just chuckle at ourselves and say, “Well, that’s the way I am, and I am comfortable with myself. I am healthy, I am dating a great guy who finds me attractive, and I am capable of doing anything I want without physical limitation.” Why can’t I see myself for the wonderful physical attributes I do have instead of lambasting myself for what I am lacking (or have too much of?) The thoughts are driving me insane, and I just marvel at the vast difference between our physical and emotional self-images. Does society do this to us? Do we do it to ourselves? Wouldn’t we cut someone out of our lives if they were as critical of us as we are of ourselves? Why do we poison ourselves?
I don’t really have any answers. I think some of what I am feeling is because of my move to New York, my lack of routine and the enormous amount of time on my hands. But I just started a new job and will have less time to think about how my body looks in a mirror. But more importantly, I am slowly becoming aware that my physical attributes are what make me Me. And being Me can be a very cool thing.
Sunday, October 2, 2005
Peanuts... Cracker Jacks, Here!
One of the things that I have noticed about New York which is very different than Southern California is the number of people legally and illegally soliciting on the streets. Now, I don’t mean like homeless people who are asking for change, though there is a lot of that too. I am talking about people who set up tables and actively sell brand name knock offs or pirated DVDs & CDs. Not only is that amazing to me, but the age range of the folks is what really surprises me. I mean, people who are in their 60s and 70s, who should be basking the in the joy of retired life, are out on street corners peddling knock off purses, sunglasses and keychains. Or, they are going into restaurants, cafes, or subway cars trying to get you to buy what they are selling. Even further, almost every street corner will have someone standing with a stack of flyers, trying to get you to patronize their establishment. They stand at the entrance to the subway stairwell to catch commuters when they are traveling. And these people are all well into their middle age, if not older (it's hard to tell, and I try not to stare).
This morning while at a Greek diner, a woman in her 50s came in with a yellow plastic bag, and went to the table next to us and pulled out a stack of DVDs which were in plastics sleeves. I could see that they are copies of movies that are currently in the theatres, so they could not possibly be out on DVD yet. The person behind the counter thought that this person wanted a table, so when the DVD lady was approached by the employee, she acted very nervous, immediately putting the DVDs back into her back and fleeing the restaurant. I sat fascinated by this transaction. This type of soliciting is similar to what I have seen in downtown San Diego, except in San Diego, it is someone with a bucket of flowers, and they approach couples and try to force the man to buy a flower for the lady. Many a man has gotten in trouble with his woman when he has said no...
Another thing that fascinates me is the varied ethnicity of the people doing these tasks. This is where you may think I have gone too far in my musings, but I am merely expressing observations and am certainly not casting any type of judgement. Southern CA is fairly homogenized, but it seems that there is a class system with regard to this type of work. The homeless people you see are caucasian or African American. The people selling flowers are Mexican. And the people who are on street corners handing out flyers or spinning advertisement signs are skinny, 16 year old caucasian boys who are impervious to sunburns. That’s it, end of story. But in New York, anything goes! The lady who came into our restaurant today was Asian, and there was a Native American man well into his 70s on the street corner handing out coupons for a fitness club that had just opened up down the road.
I gotta say, I am fascinated.
Saturday, October 1, 2005
Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, It's Off To Work I Go
In response to being seduced by the need to buy winter clothes and expensive wine, I have been claimed by the gods of slavery and extortion. I have been... hired.
It’s really not as bad as it sounds. In fact, it’s pretty good. I am working as an office/technical manager at a two person company (me and the owner). It is a event marketing company that hires out musicians/groups to local real estate corporations and businesses who want live music on their property or at their events. My boss needed to hire someone who could help organize her office and computerize some of the paperwork- lots of data entry and importing music into the computer and then outputting it onto demo CDs. I will also be taking over the maintenance of their website to help streamline a lot of their marketing efforts. It is part time, flexible, and my boss is really, really cool. My first day at work was Friday and so far, so good!
Now I just have to learn how to wean myself off of “The West Wing“ weekdays at noon and staying up until 4am.
Let’s say it together: ”Theatrdiva, you are not on San Diego time“ ...
It’s really not as bad as it sounds. In fact, it’s pretty good. I am working as an office/technical manager at a two person company (me and the owner). It is a event marketing company that hires out musicians/groups to local real estate corporations and businesses who want live music on their property or at their events. My boss needed to hire someone who could help organize her office and computerize some of the paperwork- lots of data entry and importing music into the computer and then outputting it onto demo CDs. I will also be taking over the maintenance of their website to help streamline a lot of their marketing efforts. It is part time, flexible, and my boss is really, really cool. My first day at work was Friday and so far, so good!
Now I just have to learn how to wean myself off of “The West Wing“ weekdays at noon and staying up until 4am.
Let’s say it together: ”Theatrdiva, you are not on San Diego time“ ...
Friday, September 30, 2005
Today's Happiness List...
• Kahlua, Vodka and Soy milk on ice, gently stirred
• Getting to know someone slowly but deeply
• Fantastic roommates
• Knowing you belong somewhere
• Having a dog look up to you lovingly from the floor by the couch
• Finding work after holding out the the right opportunity
• Soft and cuddly clothes
• Sleeping in until my internal alarm clock goes off
• Soft kisses
• Living in New York City
• Having a few really good friends in a new city who are helping to remind me of who I am and are shaping who I will become
• The F&%$ing Cool Women’s Society
• Laughter
• Having a sense of humor that keeps me sane
• Having the capacity to love deeply, risk greatly, and suffer humbly
Sunday, September 25, 2005
It's been a while
I am safely back in New York after a whirlwind visit to San Diego. As previously mentioned, I got cast in a small role on the hit UPN series “Veronica Mars,” reprising a character I played last season. This is what we in the business call a recurring role. I had a great time on the set, and have posted several photos on my moblog. Scroll down the page a bit- the V.M. photos start about 5 photos down.
Shooting a national television series was just a really good, tax deductible excuse to visit a bunch of friends in San Diego. My good friends Claire and Steve were gracious enough to let me stay at their adorable Hillcrest house so that I wouldn’t have to stay at my parents house 75 minutes away. Not because I don’t love my parents, mind you, but because of gas prices- good god!
I flew on late Monday night, and had to be on the set at 7:45am the next morning. I saw a few people I knew when at the shoot- my good friend John Tessmer was there doing background work (very lucrative if you have a full day free). I also saw Reggie Willis and Shaun T Evans. The shoot was fun. I did not have that many lines, but it is always great to be featured on camera! I had my own director’s style chair with my name on it, and they had a full array of food and drinks to choose from while waiting between takes.
Before I go any further- Yes, I did meet Kristen Bell. And yes, she is just as hot in person.
Here’s how the day was structured: At 7:45am I went into makeup and hair. At 8:30am I was done and went back to my trailer. I waited there until 10:30am (reading a good chunk of “Atlas Shrugged”)- they were shooting another scene before mine and that one ran a little long. I finally got on set at around 10:45am, and they immediately put us into rehearsal. This is much less about the actors and more about how the camera is going to be utilized in the scene. You have to show up on the set knowing your lines and knowing what your motivation is because the director is not there to help you in either of those areas. But the director will tell you when you are doing something they DON’T like. We rehearsed about 3-4 times before we rolled camera and sound. Last season, I wore a body mic, but this time they only used a boom for my scene (and possibly the scene after mine- I did not see a mic on anyone else either). Then we started shooting the scene. We did about 5-6 takes before the director was satisfied with the scene. The process of shooting the scene was very interesting. The first AD was the one who watched the scene live and called “Action.” The director was across the room behind a bunch of monitors watching the filmed action. He would call “cut” from there, and then the first AD would call “cut” to us. When the director thought the scene was done, he would yell “Check the gate” and they would review the scene again to see if they got everything they needed. The funny thing was that there were 2 or 3 AD’s, and each one would yell out what the director had said for their particular crew. So, the director would say “check the gate” and then you would hear an echo of “checking the gate,” “checking the gate,” “checking the gate!” Very regimented. Very cool. I finished up by noon, but had to stick around until they were done with the entire scene, in case the director needed to re-shoot anything I was a part of. This gave me lots of time to catch up with John, Reggie and Shaun. I got to leave around 3pm, at the official lunch break. What a day!
The rest of my time in San Diego was relaxing and fun, and filled with food and drink! On Tuesday night I went out with friends Claire, Brooke, Matt L and Kurt. We went to the Gulf Coast Grill, which has amazing New Orleans style food. On Wednesday I headed up to my parents place and had lunch with my mom, then came back down to San Diego to meet my dad for dinner. Later that evening I had coffee with Matt S. The next day I had coffee with my good friend Barb before an hour walk on Lake Murray- the weather was warm and perfect. I then met Anna for lunch and Devlin for coffee after that before heading back to the house to pack for my trip back home. Even though I had all of that coffee, I was still able to sleep for 3 hours of the 4.5 hour flight back to New York on the red eye, except that the guy next to me snored really loudly.
I probably won’t be back in San Diego until the holidays, so I was glad to have gotten a chance to visit. For those of you who I was not abel to see this time around- I will make it a priority to see you next time!!!
Shooting a national television series was just a really good, tax deductible excuse to visit a bunch of friends in San Diego. My good friends Claire and Steve were gracious enough to let me stay at their adorable Hillcrest house so that I wouldn’t have to stay at my parents house 75 minutes away. Not because I don’t love my parents, mind you, but because of gas prices- good god!
I flew on late Monday night, and had to be on the set at 7:45am the next morning. I saw a few people I knew when at the shoot- my good friend John Tessmer was there doing background work (very lucrative if you have a full day free). I also saw Reggie Willis and Shaun T Evans. The shoot was fun. I did not have that many lines, but it is always great to be featured on camera! I had my own director’s style chair with my name on it, and they had a full array of food and drinks to choose from while waiting between takes.
Before I go any further- Yes, I did meet Kristen Bell. And yes, she is just as hot in person.
Here’s how the day was structured: At 7:45am I went into makeup and hair. At 8:30am I was done and went back to my trailer. I waited there until 10:30am (reading a good chunk of “Atlas Shrugged”)- they were shooting another scene before mine and that one ran a little long. I finally got on set at around 10:45am, and they immediately put us into rehearsal. This is much less about the actors and more about how the camera is going to be utilized in the scene. You have to show up on the set knowing your lines and knowing what your motivation is because the director is not there to help you in either of those areas. But the director will tell you when you are doing something they DON’T like. We rehearsed about 3-4 times before we rolled camera and sound. Last season, I wore a body mic, but this time they only used a boom for my scene (and possibly the scene after mine- I did not see a mic on anyone else either). Then we started shooting the scene. We did about 5-6 takes before the director was satisfied with the scene. The process of shooting the scene was very interesting. The first AD was the one who watched the scene live and called “Action.” The director was across the room behind a bunch of monitors watching the filmed action. He would call “cut” from there, and then the first AD would call “cut” to us. When the director thought the scene was done, he would yell “Check the gate” and they would review the scene again to see if they got everything they needed. The funny thing was that there were 2 or 3 AD’s, and each one would yell out what the director had said for their particular crew. So, the director would say “check the gate” and then you would hear an echo of “checking the gate,” “checking the gate,” “checking the gate!” Very regimented. Very cool. I finished up by noon, but had to stick around until they were done with the entire scene, in case the director needed to re-shoot anything I was a part of. This gave me lots of time to catch up with John, Reggie and Shaun. I got to leave around 3pm, at the official lunch break. What a day!
The rest of my time in San Diego was relaxing and fun, and filled with food and drink! On Tuesday night I went out with friends Claire, Brooke, Matt L and Kurt. We went to the Gulf Coast Grill, which has amazing New Orleans style food. On Wednesday I headed up to my parents place and had lunch with my mom, then came back down to San Diego to meet my dad for dinner. Later that evening I had coffee with Matt S. The next day I had coffee with my good friend Barb before an hour walk on Lake Murray- the weather was warm and perfect. I then met Anna for lunch and Devlin for coffee after that before heading back to the house to pack for my trip back home. Even though I had all of that coffee, I was still able to sleep for 3 hours of the 4.5 hour flight back to New York on the red eye, except that the guy next to me snored really loudly.
I probably won’t be back in San Diego until the holidays, so I was glad to have gotten a chance to visit. For those of you who I was not abel to see this time around- I will make it a priority to see you next time!!!
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Link of the day
Courtesy of Tom “The Light Fantastic” Tillotson and Tom “Tommy D” Davis:
Interview with Presidential Speechwriter
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Finally... an interview appears
For those of you who are dying to know what has been happening on the "day job" front, here is an update:
I have an interview scheduled tomorrow for a job as an assistant at a non-profit organization. The job is part time, flexible and for a cause I believe in (global unity). They said they received dozens and dozens of email responses from their ad on Craigslist, and narrowed it down to 12 people who had great cover letters and relevant work experience. It is nice to get some positive feedback once in a while! At least I know my cover letter is pretty good.
I also got an email response to another job I applied to. This was for a music company who want technical & organizational help getting into the 21st century. This is the PERFECT job for me. They said that 100 people responded to their ad, but they threw away 98 of them. They asked me a few questions about specific skills and availability, and I am waiting to hear back. I have responded to countless ads and rarely get a response, so 2 in one day is pretty exciting.
I sure hope I get a job soon. I am getting tired of eating whenever I want to and watching cable TV all day, though I am caught up on all of the reruns of "The West Wing" and "Curb Your Enthusiasm." I need to get back to a time when I had no time to do anything but work, drink coffee, run around, and make a difference in the lives of others. As an unemployed citizen, I am not even making a difference in my own life. I thought that being unemployed would give me endless hours to do all of those things I always wanted to do, if I only had the time. But, as it turns out, all of the things I want to do cost money, and then I feel bad about spending it, so I end up staying home and watching TV, which I have already paid for. It seems fiscally responsible, but it ends up being depressing. It's a sickness, I tell you. Crossing my fingers for a good job to come along...
I have an interview scheduled tomorrow for a job as an assistant at a non-profit organization. The job is part time, flexible and for a cause I believe in (global unity). They said they received dozens and dozens of email responses from their ad on Craigslist, and narrowed it down to 12 people who had great cover letters and relevant work experience. It is nice to get some positive feedback once in a while! At least I know my cover letter is pretty good.
I also got an email response to another job I applied to. This was for a music company who want technical & organizational help getting into the 21st century. This is the PERFECT job for me. They said that 100 people responded to their ad, but they threw away 98 of them. They asked me a few questions about specific skills and availability, and I am waiting to hear back. I have responded to countless ads and rarely get a response, so 2 in one day is pretty exciting.
I sure hope I get a job soon. I am getting tired of eating whenever I want to and watching cable TV all day, though I am caught up on all of the reruns of "The West Wing" and "Curb Your Enthusiasm." I need to get back to a time when I had no time to do anything but work, drink coffee, run around, and make a difference in the lives of others. As an unemployed citizen, I am not even making a difference in my own life. I thought that being unemployed would give me endless hours to do all of those things I always wanted to do, if I only had the time. But, as it turns out, all of the things I want to do cost money, and then I feel bad about spending it, so I end up staying home and watching TV, which I have already paid for. It seems fiscally responsible, but it ends up being depressing. It's a sickness, I tell you. Crossing my fingers for a good job to come along...
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
When a door closes...
...another opens.
In mid August I got a residual check from a rerun of the first Veronica Mars episode I shot. Whenever I get a check like that, I have to send 10% to my agent. This time around, though, I have been waiting to send the check because I needed it to be accompanied by an official "I no longer need San Diego representation" letter, and I had not yet written the letter. So, last Thursday I decided that it was finally time to write this letter and get it in the mail. Part of my writing the letter was letting go of my San Diego career, which was very successful, in exchange for an unknown but presumably more successful career in New York. I had been feeling a little uncertain about the transition, but felt it was time to jump in with both feet and see what developed. No sooner did I start the letter did the phone ring with a calI from my agent in San Diego who says I have booked another episode of "Veronica Mars" (UPN TV series) in the same role as in Season 1. Wahoo!!!! My first recurring role! I will be flying to San Diego this coming Monday night, shooting on Tuesday, and spending Wednesday and Thursday with family and friends, then flying home Thursday evening on the red eye.
Here's where the "door closes, another opens" mentality comes in. Had I been hired by any of the companies I had interviewed for in the past couple of weeks, I would probably not have been able to do this gig. Ideally, I would have found a job that would have allowed me the time to go, but usually they would not let the employee have the time off so soon. How cool is that???
I am not one who believes in fate or the stars (or religion), so let me just say what an incredible coincidence it is that I was writing that letter and the phone rang at the same time. I acknowledge that there are some things you just can't plan. Maybe, more than anything, this is life telling me that ending chapters and starting new ones is not such a bad thing. Like any door closed, something can still come knocking and you can open the door back up to let it in.
In mid August I got a residual check from a rerun of the first Veronica Mars episode I shot. Whenever I get a check like that, I have to send 10% to my agent. This time around, though, I have been waiting to send the check because I needed it to be accompanied by an official "I no longer need San Diego representation" letter, and I had not yet written the letter. So, last Thursday I decided that it was finally time to write this letter and get it in the mail. Part of my writing the letter was letting go of my San Diego career, which was very successful, in exchange for an unknown but presumably more successful career in New York. I had been feeling a little uncertain about the transition, but felt it was time to jump in with both feet and see what developed. No sooner did I start the letter did the phone ring with a calI from my agent in San Diego who says I have booked another episode of "Veronica Mars" (UPN TV series) in the same role as in Season 1. Wahoo!!!! My first recurring role! I will be flying to San Diego this coming Monday night, shooting on Tuesday, and spending Wednesday and Thursday with family and friends, then flying home Thursday evening on the red eye.
Here's where the "door closes, another opens" mentality comes in. Had I been hired by any of the companies I had interviewed for in the past couple of weeks, I would probably not have been able to do this gig. Ideally, I would have found a job that would have allowed me the time to go, but usually they would not let the employee have the time off so soon. How cool is that???
I am not one who believes in fate or the stars (or religion), so let me just say what an incredible coincidence it is that I was writing that letter and the phone rang at the same time. I acknowledge that there are some things you just can't plan. Maybe, more than anything, this is life telling me that ending chapters and starting new ones is not such a bad thing. Like any door closed, something can still come knocking and you can open the door back up to let it in.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Link of the day
Want to know the state of affairs in the US? Type the word "failure" into Google, and see what pops up as Number One result. (I learned of this courtesy of my friend Rob- visit his photo blog.
Friday, September 9, 2005
Update for my peeps back home
Howdy, friends!
Just wanted to send you a short update from NYC. I am doing really great here. Each day that I wake up in New York I am that much more certain that I belong here. I love the pace of the city, the fact that I can walk 1/2 block from my front door and get take out at 2 in the morning, and that no matter how much I do in a day, there is always something new to experience the next day.
Theatre
I have not yet begun auditioning because I wanted to get settled before jumping in with both feet. As I look on the Actors' Equity audition hotline, I am finding that most of the auditions are for gigs out of town, and I would prefer to stay local. But starting next Monday, I will be auditioning for some local plays and musicals, so keep your fingers crossed for me. Another one of my plans is to visit a few of the open mic cabaret places in NYC. I don't plan to try to do cabaret for a "living" (people rarely make money at it) but it is a good idea to get to know the industry by singing for your peers, and open mic nights are a lot of fun too! Last week I was at a piano bar and the singer sang "I Could be In Love With Someone Like You"- the deleted song from "The Last Five Years." I got so excited by this that I threw money in his tip jar and thanked him, telling him I did the show in San Diego. As I sat back down, he said, "Wait a minute! You can't tell me that you did that show and then just sit down. Come back up here and sing a song!" So, I went up and sang "Summer in Ohio" from the show, and the crowd loved it. In that moment, I didn't ask myself "Is there anyone in the crowd who can get me a job" or "I should be paid for this"- it was simply the joy of singing music I love that propelled me. This is what it is all about, folks. Get out there and do what feeds your soul, AT ALL COSTS.
Ok, I'll get off my soapbox now... =)
I interviewed to be a part of an invite-only playwright/director workshop, and have been accepted! This workshop is run by a local director who is passionate about pairing up playwrights who have strong scripts with strong directors so that the play can be further developed for production. The idea is that if playwrights and directors collaborate early on, the play can be packaged more strongly and submitted with greater chance for production. The playwright and director work together on mounting a reading of the play for the workshop participants to watch, and feedback is given and more work is done to improve the show. More than 100 plays have seen productions through this workshop, and as a director I will be meeting some of the greatest up and coming playwrights, directors and actors. The workshop starts on Monday- yippee!
I learned about the above workshop through Judd Lear Silverman who, as some of you may know, is the playwright of "Correct Address"- the show I directed at the Actors Alliance Festival this summer. Judd contacted me after hearing about the Best of the Fest awards for the production, and when I told him I was moving to New York, he told me he lived in Brooklyn and would love to welcome me to the city when I got here. We have since met for lunch and talk numerous times via phone and email. He saw my production of "Correct Address" on DVD, and was so impressed that he recommended me for this workshop, which he is a part of as well. I could not be more thrilled about working with Judd and his colleagues.
Work
I am still working to find the perfect job that will give me enough money to live while allowing me the flexibility to do theatre. I have found the job that comes the closest is being a personal assistant, and there are lots of those jobs available in NYC. I have had 3 interviews for this type of work and have gone very far in the process, but have yet to find the perfect fit. Judd Silverman also recommended me to a temp agency, which I have signed with, and they are working on finding me ongoing temporary work that will meet my requirements. I am meeting lots of people and am actually having fun with the job search, but now it is time to start making some money (since it seems to go so fast here!) I'll keep you posted on my progress. Of course, if you have any suggestions, or contacts in the NY area that I should know about, please let me know!
Housing
I got REALLY lucky with the housing situation here in NYC. I moved here with a 1 month sublet in Queens and before the sublet was over, I was notified by the tenant that she would not be coming back, and I would be allowed to take the room if I wanted it. Yay! The apartment is amazing, in an amazing location, and I am only paying $565 to live here (plus utilities). I love my roommate, and we have another roommate moving into our vacant 3rd bedroom on September 15. I am thrilled that the housing situation worked out so well- I am not sure how I got so lucky but I really am grateful!
Well, I'd better go in case I give myself carpel tunnel and can't work. If you plan to visit the NYC area, please contact me! I would love to go out for drinks or pizza!
I miss you all,
Erin =)
Just wanted to send you a short update from NYC. I am doing really great here. Each day that I wake up in New York I am that much more certain that I belong here. I love the pace of the city, the fact that I can walk 1/2 block from my front door and get take out at 2 in the morning, and that no matter how much I do in a day, there is always something new to experience the next day.
Theatre
I have not yet begun auditioning because I wanted to get settled before jumping in with both feet. As I look on the Actors' Equity audition hotline, I am finding that most of the auditions are for gigs out of town, and I would prefer to stay local. But starting next Monday, I will be auditioning for some local plays and musicals, so keep your fingers crossed for me. Another one of my plans is to visit a few of the open mic cabaret places in NYC. I don't plan to try to do cabaret for a "living" (people rarely make money at it) but it is a good idea to get to know the industry by singing for your peers, and open mic nights are a lot of fun too! Last week I was at a piano bar and the singer sang "I Could be In Love With Someone Like You"- the deleted song from "The Last Five Years." I got so excited by this that I threw money in his tip jar and thanked him, telling him I did the show in San Diego. As I sat back down, he said, "Wait a minute! You can't tell me that you did that show and then just sit down. Come back up here and sing a song!" So, I went up and sang "Summer in Ohio" from the show, and the crowd loved it. In that moment, I didn't ask myself "Is there anyone in the crowd who can get me a job" or "I should be paid for this"- it was simply the joy of singing music I love that propelled me. This is what it is all about, folks. Get out there and do what feeds your soul, AT ALL COSTS.
Ok, I'll get off my soapbox now... =)
I interviewed to be a part of an invite-only playwright/director workshop, and have been accepted! This workshop is run by a local director who is passionate about pairing up playwrights who have strong scripts with strong directors so that the play can be further developed for production. The idea is that if playwrights and directors collaborate early on, the play can be packaged more strongly and submitted with greater chance for production. The playwright and director work together on mounting a reading of the play for the workshop participants to watch, and feedback is given and more work is done to improve the show. More than 100 plays have seen productions through this workshop, and as a director I will be meeting some of the greatest up and coming playwrights, directors and actors. The workshop starts on Monday- yippee!
I learned about the above workshop through Judd Lear Silverman who, as some of you may know, is the playwright of "Correct Address"- the show I directed at the Actors Alliance Festival this summer. Judd contacted me after hearing about the Best of the Fest awards for the production, and when I told him I was moving to New York, he told me he lived in Brooklyn and would love to welcome me to the city when I got here. We have since met for lunch and talk numerous times via phone and email. He saw my production of "Correct Address" on DVD, and was so impressed that he recommended me for this workshop, which he is a part of as well. I could not be more thrilled about working with Judd and his colleagues.
Work
I am still working to find the perfect job that will give me enough money to live while allowing me the flexibility to do theatre. I have found the job that comes the closest is being a personal assistant, and there are lots of those jobs available in NYC. I have had 3 interviews for this type of work and have gone very far in the process, but have yet to find the perfect fit. Judd Silverman also recommended me to a temp agency, which I have signed with, and they are working on finding me ongoing temporary work that will meet my requirements. I am meeting lots of people and am actually having fun with the job search, but now it is time to start making some money (since it seems to go so fast here!) I'll keep you posted on my progress. Of course, if you have any suggestions, or contacts in the NY area that I should know about, please let me know!
Housing
I got REALLY lucky with the housing situation here in NYC. I moved here with a 1 month sublet in Queens and before the sublet was over, I was notified by the tenant that she would not be coming back, and I would be allowed to take the room if I wanted it. Yay! The apartment is amazing, in an amazing location, and I am only paying $565 to live here (plus utilities). I love my roommate, and we have another roommate moving into our vacant 3rd bedroom on September 15. I am thrilled that the housing situation worked out so well- I am not sure how I got so lucky but I really am grateful!
Well, I'd better go in case I give myself carpel tunnel and can't work. If you plan to visit the NYC area, please contact me! I would love to go out for drinks or pizza!
I miss you all,
Erin =)
Wednesday, September 7, 2005
Best Website EVER
If you want to see something so disturbing that you will laugh yourself silly, go to this website:
http://samugliestdog.com
Look around at the photos- too funny for words!
Tuesday, September 6, 2005
We knew this day would come
I have finally seen a cloud in my month of sunshine... I am still unemployed. I have been sending out resume after resume and have had a fair share of very good interviews. In fact, I think I have won the award for the most times a person has heard, "It was one of the toughest decisions I have had to make. We were very impressed with you, but we have decided to go with someone else."
It's not like I haven't heard these words before. This is what life is like for an actor every week- sometimes several times a week. You peddle your wares- in an actor's case, it is themselves. It is hard to face that sort of rejection in theatre, and it is just as hard to face it in the "real" world too. It sucks to come in 2nd, even if it is 2nd out of 100. I guess I have one thing to be thankful for- at least in these cases I am getting a phone call. As an actor, you usually don't get anything- you only know if you HAVE the job, and never hear that you DON'T have it.
The reason the job search has been so difficult is that I am looking for something very specific. I am looking for a flexible full time or part time job that will allow me to move my hours around if I have a theatre gig or audition. I have an insane amount of administration and managerial skills, as well as non profit experience. There are a lot of these jobs available in New York, but there are also a lot of people applying for them so I have to work harder (and longer) to find what I am looking for. I am lucky that I have saved up enough where I don't really have to worry about working for a while, but if I can find a job sooner than later, I can use the savings for dance classes and voice lessons, a much more worthwhile expense.
So, if you know of a job opening that fits this description, please let me know! =)
It's not like I haven't heard these words before. This is what life is like for an actor every week- sometimes several times a week. You peddle your wares- in an actor's case, it is themselves. It is hard to face that sort of rejection in theatre, and it is just as hard to face it in the "real" world too. It sucks to come in 2nd, even if it is 2nd out of 100. I guess I have one thing to be thankful for- at least in these cases I am getting a phone call. As an actor, you usually don't get anything- you only know if you HAVE the job, and never hear that you DON'T have it.
The reason the job search has been so difficult is that I am looking for something very specific. I am looking for a flexible full time or part time job that will allow me to move my hours around if I have a theatre gig or audition. I have an insane amount of administration and managerial skills, as well as non profit experience. There are a lot of these jobs available in New York, but there are also a lot of people applying for them so I have to work harder (and longer) to find what I am looking for. I am lucky that I have saved up enough where I don't really have to worry about working for a while, but if I can find a job sooner than later, I can use the savings for dance classes and voice lessons, a much more worthwhile expense.
So, if you know of a job opening that fits this description, please let me know! =)
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Am I a New Yorker Yet?
I have heard it takes 10 years in New York to make you a "local" and even then I may never be called a New Yorker. But I had my own New York moment the other day which made me think that me an ol' New York are going to do just fine together.
It has been overcast and very muggy the last few days (try 100% humidity) and I was in a subway station traveling to a job interview. I was dressed in business attire, and it was hot. I was looking forward to getting on a nice, air conditioned train. When the train finally pulled up, I noticed that there were a bunch of cars packed with people, and I was disheartened to think that I might have to stand- I had a book I needed to read! I then noticed that there were a few cars at the end of the platform that had fewer people. I thought, "Ah ha! I will run down the platform and get into one of THOSE cars. I am so smart." I catch the train, and right after the door slams behind me I notice that this car is, ready for this, NOT air conditioned. This would account for the lack of people in it. Apparently I made a horrible face of disgust, because a lady across the car laughed and nodded her head, as though to say "Tell me about it!" I sat down and pondered my fate. I was destined to arrive at my interview with sweat rings on my crisp, clean shirt and a foul look on my face. And then it hit me. I knew what to do. I pulled a New York move- at the next station I got off the train and got into another car. Brilliant!
The ultimate NY move would have been to go between subway cars while the train was still moving, but that is just crazy talk!
Saturday, August 27, 2005
"It's a beautiful day," she complains...
The weather is starting to turn here already, or so the locals say. The sun is bright and hot, but the breeze is cool. I can wear more clothing than the few spaghetti strap tank tops I brought with me, thank Dog. Coming from California, I am a fan of layering. I heart layering because in San Diego the temperature will drastically change depending on whether you are in the shade or in the sun. So, you always have to have a sweater with you. But you'll have to take it off, put it on, take it off, put it on, etc etc etc, depending on where you go through the day. So, I am glad that I am finally somewhere where the weather is a little more stable- extreme, but stable. When I leave the house in the morning, I can have a pretty good idea of what the weather is going to be like in the afternoon. Did you know that NYC is considered to have a mild climate?
More differences between San Diego and New York. It seems to me that in San Diego, everyone acknowledges how easy it is to live there, and so any amount of concern or complaint is brushed aside or, worse, challenged. Namely, when speaking of the weather in San Diego, you will easily run into someone who says, "Oh, you're hot? You should see how hot is it near me in Ramona. You have nothing to complain about here." But once someone complains in Ramona, you hear, "Oh, you're hot? You should see how hot is it near me in Borrego. You have nothing to complain about here." And once someone complains in Borrego, you hear, "Oh, you're hot? You should see how hot is it near me on the Sun. You have nothing to complain about here."
So, when I came to NYC and felt the sweltering heat, I got prepared to pretend that it didn't bother me, because I didn't want to be made fun of. But no sooner did I think those thoughts did I hear people around me say, "Man, it is f&%^king HOT! Don't you think it's hot? Man, I think I am going to sweat my ass off!" So, my observation is this: In San Diego, people don't complain that much, even though they want to, which creates a sort of alienation. In New York, everyone complains, which actually creates a bit of community. It seems bass-ackwards, but if you think about it, it makes a lot of sense. Speaking your mind is contagious, and when you know your fellow man, you know yourself.
I love it here.
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Thank you!
Thanks to ElectronicWriter who has passed on some words of wisdom about blogging. He recommended a Mac program called MacJournal, where I can create and backup all of my journal entries and then publish directly from the program to my blog. Fancy-schmancy.
If you are bored, take this quiz:
Unabomber Quiz
Then poke around their website. Fun stuff!
I forgot to mention
One of the other projects I have been exploring is standardized patient programs through local medical schools. This involves portraying a patient sop that student doctors can practice their clinical skills. Really fun, and really rewarding. I did this work in San Diego, and want to do it here too. So, I looked up all of the medical schools and started contacting their development departments. I have already received 2 responses from people who want to get my resume on file. Wish me luck!
New Look- Same Attitude
Well- you have probably noticed by now that my blog has a new look. That's right- I have gone to the dark side and decided NOT to code my own blog anymore. The main reason for this is that I have had a blast having someone else host my Moblog, and I have already met lots of people through that community. Blogger has its own network of cool people, and a great interface, so I decided to switch. The decision to switch was easy. The transition proved to be a little more tiresome. For two hours this morning I transferred all of my postings from my website to this blog. That was...fun. I am looking a little bit of flexibility but am gaining the ability to forget about HTML code for this part of my site, so I give it a two thumbs up!
My recent job interviews went well. I was signed by the temp agency, who has already called me to talk about a possible job. That is pretty cool. It is very similar to having an agent as an actor. They get a fee on top of the hourly rate that is paid by the business, but I don't miss that money because it was never mine to begin with. It takes all of the pain out of having to find work for yourself. Yummy. The other great thing about temp work is it allows you the flexibility to do other part time work (eg: theatre) while still having a steady income base. Howver, before I make any firm plans, I am holding out for another job for which I have a 2nd interview on Monday. This job involves assisting an Off Broadway producer in preparation for a show that is opening in October. This is the perfect job for me (aside from performing) and I hope I get it! [cue "A Chorus Line"] If I do get this job, then I can still temp but work around that schedule. If I don't get it, then I still temp. See the brilliance?
On Monday, after my 2nd interview, I have a coffee date with a program director for a possible job directing workshop productions of new plays. It doesn't pay much (if at all) but it links up directors with playwrights in the development of their work, which can lead to paying gigs down the line. Ever since the Festival I have had a burning desire to explore directing more fully, and this might be the perfect opportunity. One of the reason I am so excited is that it has been a long time since I have been allowed access to non-union or start up projects. As a member of Actors Equity and SAG, I am limited to what I can do as a performer. But as a director, I am able to explore all avenues, which is incredibly freeing. I am sure that once I have a lot of directing experience under my belt, I will want to be a member of the directors guild. But for now, I am basking in the opportunity to build my resume, make contacts with people I admire, and explore the possibility of making a difference.
Don't you love naive optimism?
My recent job interviews went well. I was signed by the temp agency, who has already called me to talk about a possible job. That is pretty cool. It is very similar to having an agent as an actor. They get a fee on top of the hourly rate that is paid by the business, but I don't miss that money because it was never mine to begin with. It takes all of the pain out of having to find work for yourself. Yummy. The other great thing about temp work is it allows you the flexibility to do other part time work (eg: theatre) while still having a steady income base. Howver, before I make any firm plans, I am holding out for another job for which I have a 2nd interview on Monday. This job involves assisting an Off Broadway producer in preparation for a show that is opening in October. This is the perfect job for me (aside from performing) and I hope I get it! [cue "A Chorus Line"] If I do get this job, then I can still temp but work around that schedule. If I don't get it, then I still temp. See the brilliance?
On Monday, after my 2nd interview, I have a coffee date with a program director for a possible job directing workshop productions of new plays. It doesn't pay much (if at all) but it links up directors with playwrights in the development of their work, which can lead to paying gigs down the line. Ever since the Festival I have had a burning desire to explore directing more fully, and this might be the perfect opportunity. One of the reason I am so excited is that it has been a long time since I have been allowed access to non-union or start up projects. As a member of Actors Equity and SAG, I am limited to what I can do as a performer. But as a director, I am able to explore all avenues, which is incredibly freeing. I am sure that once I have a lot of directing experience under my belt, I will want to be a member of the directors guild. But for now, I am basking in the opportunity to build my resume, make contacts with people I admire, and explore the possibility of making a difference.
Don't you love naive optimism?
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Monday, August 22, 2005
Interviews galore
Happy Birthday to my good friend Robin, who is happily on a Hornblower cruise with her boyfriend on the San Diego Bay right now. Lucky her!
I have 2 job interviews tomorrow- both jobs would allow me the time & flexibility to audition for shows and doing odd jobs in the theatre (ie: standardized patient training at medical schools; hand modeling demonstrations at conventions; directing...) Things are really starting to progress- hopefully they don't spin out of control and get me committed to a full time job. I rather like having my days free to roam the city unchaperoned. It's like summer camp without the mosquitos and more beer.
I have 2 job interviews tomorrow- both jobs would allow me the time & flexibility to audition for shows and doing odd jobs in the theatre (ie: standardized patient training at medical schools; hand modeling demonstrations at conventions; directing...) Things are really starting to progress- hopefully they don't spin out of control and get me committed to a full time job. I rather like having my days free to roam the city unchaperoned. It's like summer camp without the mosquitos and more beer.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Today's Happiness List
• Having internet access at home
• DVR (Digital Video Recording)- now I can see The West Wing anytime I want!
• Sleeping in with my dog curled up in that space my legs create when sleeping on my side
• Late night conversations with old friends who have just met
• Coffee
• Knowing that I belong here but not having to know the reasons why
• Good Pizza
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Life is Good.
I am on track to find work, which will go a long way in funding my alcohol habit (sorry, Mom and Dad, that you had to read that. Though I am mostly Irish, so it is really your fault anyway). I had a phone interview today for a job assisting an Off Broadway producer for a show opening in October in the Village. I have exactly the skills they need, but I got the sense from the interview that they were calling LOTS of people and don't know how well I did. My lunch partner (who will remain nameless) said I was "articulate." I also have some "in's" with a few temp agencies. Thank Dog I spent all of those years doing office work. Temp work could perfect because it would allow me access to full time work but also flexibility so I can pursue theatre. Hey, if you are reading this and have a job opening that sounds like that, let me know. Is anyone actually reading this? Hello...
So, I was talking to my sister on the phone last night, and she asked me what my favorite part of living in NYC is so far. I had just left Starbucks, and in the span of 15 minutes, I walked home, dropped off my computer, went back out to a Chinese restaurant, ordered take out, and went back home to eat it. Here was my answer: I love the fact that I have everything I need at my fingertips and I do not have to own a car to get it. This aspect is the best, bar none (or bar MANY, in my case). Everything I need is here. I feel right at home. It is awesome. I also like humid weather, and the fact that I can walk around Astoria at 2am and it is just as busy then as it is a 2pm. I like that I can walk down the street and hear many different languages being spoken, even if those words are being yelled at me through a mail slot. Who knew that I actually like being unemployed?
If you have read my blog from beginning to end (and, dear Dog, I hope you were drinking at the time) you would know that I worked for the Actors Alliance and this summer I directed and produced a production at the Actors Alliance Festival. And that the playwright of my show, Judd Silverman, contacted me when he saw I was doing his show. Well, he and I met in person for the first time yesterday, and I don't think I exaggerate when I say that I was in the presence of greatness. See, this is why I needed to come to New York. This is where all of the geniuses ply their wares and even if I never become one of those geniuses, I am surrounded from them, I can be inspired by them, and I can write about them in my blog to make myself seem greater than I really am.
New York Moment- a youngish Latina girl (18 or 19) just knocked on the window I am sitting by at Starbucks and tried to tell me something, but I couldn't understand what she was trying to say. She started motioning to me, I think the words "I like" came out of her mouth, and when she tried to motion what she meant, she put one hand on her hip and one on her head, like when girl is doing a sexy pose. It was a bizarre case of failed charades. She gave up after 3 tries. I choose to believe that I was being worshipped.
And, to close, I'd like to say that last night, for the first time, I hailed my own cab. And an even better tag to that story is that I hailed a cab in Astoria at 12:30am to go INTO Manhattan to meet friends at a piano bar. Kick ass.
So, I was talking to my sister on the phone last night, and she asked me what my favorite part of living in NYC is so far. I had just left Starbucks, and in the span of 15 minutes, I walked home, dropped off my computer, went back out to a Chinese restaurant, ordered take out, and went back home to eat it. Here was my answer: I love the fact that I have everything I need at my fingertips and I do not have to own a car to get it. This aspect is the best, bar none (or bar MANY, in my case). Everything I need is here. I feel right at home. It is awesome. I also like humid weather, and the fact that I can walk around Astoria at 2am and it is just as busy then as it is a 2pm. I like that I can walk down the street and hear many different languages being spoken, even if those words are being yelled at me through a mail slot. Who knew that I actually like being unemployed?
If you have read my blog from beginning to end (and, dear Dog, I hope you were drinking at the time) you would know that I worked for the Actors Alliance and this summer I directed and produced a production at the Actors Alliance Festival. And that the playwright of my show, Judd Silverman, contacted me when he saw I was doing his show. Well, he and I met in person for the first time yesterday, and I don't think I exaggerate when I say that I was in the presence of greatness. See, this is why I needed to come to New York. This is where all of the geniuses ply their wares and even if I never become one of those geniuses, I am surrounded from them, I can be inspired by them, and I can write about them in my blog to make myself seem greater than I really am.
New York Moment- a youngish Latina girl (18 or 19) just knocked on the window I am sitting by at Starbucks and tried to tell me something, but I couldn't understand what she was trying to say. She started motioning to me, I think the words "I like" came out of her mouth, and when she tried to motion what she meant, she put one hand on her hip and one on her head, like when girl is doing a sexy pose. It was a bizarre case of failed charades. She gave up after 3 tries. I choose to believe that I was being worshipped.
And, to close, I'd like to say that last night, for the first time, I hailed my own cab. And an even better tag to that story is that I hailed a cab in Astoria at 12:30am to go INTO Manhattan to meet friends at a piano bar. Kick ass.
Monday, August 15, 2005
New York Moment
Last night I experienced New York Moment #2. I wish I was able to take a photo, but that is part of why it was a New York Moment. It was 11:45pm and I had just got done watching "Mad, Hot Ballroom" at a theatre in Chelsea. I waited for more than 15 minutes to catch the A train from 23rd Street, to connect at 42nd Street to the N, W or R to go to Astoria. Once I got to 42nd Street, I walked the equivilent of 4 long city blocks to get over to the N/W/R. When I got there, there was a train at the station, and everyone was running to catch it. However, the train was PACKED. Mind you, it was a Sunday night at midnight, at this point, and it was worse than rush hour. There was a conductor on the platform encouraging people to pile on, saying the 7 and R were closed, so this would be the last train for a while. Normally I would have waited, but I went ahead and squeezed in. It was wall to wall people, but at least I was able to get my hand on the rail to steady myself. The train takes off uptown, stops at 49th street, and more people start to pile on. At this point, I thought we were going to burst and I was being touched in places by strangers that border on illegal. Everyone is in good spirits, though, because we figure that it can't get any worse. The train stops at 57th, 5th Ave and 59th & Lex, and each time more and more people get on, and no one gets off. There are so many people that you cannot even see the handrails anymore, just a sea of hands overlapping hands, slippery from the rain and sweat. These trains are air conditioned, but I would have bet against that. Eventually, people are packed in nowhere near handrails, with their hands raised in the air holding onto the ceiling. This was a deoderant commercial waiting to happen. Once we got across the bridge to Queensboro Plaza, the train emptied out, and I was left to contemplate the experience of being that intimate with complete strangers for 20 minutes after midnight. Facscinating. Welcome to New York.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Mmm... pizza...
I think I have found the best pizza in NYC. On Thursday I went up to Harlem to hang with Courtney and she took me to Patsy's. The pizza was the thinnest I have ever seen with just the right amount of sauce and cheese. I am a little embarrassed to say that not only did we finish one large pizza between the 2 of us, but I ordered 2 more pieces for myself and ate them right then. Gluttonous, I tell you.
By the way, the above section was meant to incite others to tell me what THEY think the best pizza is... I double dog dare you! You can let me know by making a comment below.
On Friday night I hung out with friends Jessica and Noah on the Lower East Side at a bar/lounge called The Living Room, where we saw The Gabe Dixon Band perform live. They were fantastic. You can download their music at their website. I highly recommend going to live music venues- they are inspiring, fun and full of great energy.
I met Jess and Noah in San Diego, and they moved to New York last year. Noah is the drummer and occasional guitarist for another amazing performer, Randi Driscoll. I am thrilled to be living in New York where I will be able to see them perform far more often. Unfortunately for me, they are traveling to California soon to do some tour dates there. They will be in San Diego at Twiggs on August 21. Stop by and say hello.
Much to my delight, I have discovered a Goodwill Store right by the subway station. Those who know and love me are aware of my penchant for designer clothing at cheap prices. I am also thrilled because when my parent start to ship my stuff to me, I will invariably have packed too much and will need somewhere to get rid of it. The Goodwill is the perfect solution. So, if you have been trying to call or email me and I am not getting back to you, chances are I am at the Goodwill.
Speaking of shopping, there is a street fair on Steinway today, and I fear that I will walk home with a bunch of stuff I don't have room for. We'll see...
Friday, August 12, 2005
Mystery solved
My dear friend Brent was the one who sent the plant to me. What a wonderfully sweet gift. I promise I will photograph it and add it to my Photo Blog on of these days.
Happy Birthday to Claire!
Well, I have been here a week exactly, and the honeymoon period has not ended yet. I am truly lucky to have great friends taking good care of me in the city. Rarely have I found more hospitality than I have experienced here. Tonight, I get to go out with my friends Jessica and Noah, who live in Brooklyn. We are seeing a band in the East Village, which should be lots of fun. Jess is an actor/educator turned lawyer, and Noah is a software guru turned musician. They courageously have followed their dreams and are a constant source of inspiration for me. Tomorrow, I get to have dinner with theatre friends Sarah and Matt, who are visiting from San Diego. Sunday I will be out with Jess again in the evening meeting some of her friends.
Monday is when I will start working on the career aspects of my new life. Starting with a trip to the Actors' Equity building, I will look into auditioning and flexible work opportunities that will be both financially rewrading and emotionally fulfilling. It would be a dream situation to be able to find a job like the one I had in San Diego at the Actors Alliance. I miss them. I'll be sure to let you know about my various pursuits, and be following it with my camera, as always!
Courtney has something on her blog that I have always liked- she often talks about what she is grateful for in her life. I have maintained a list like this for years, but it is called my Happiness List. Things that no matter what my mood will always make me happy. I thought I would share some of those with you now and then add to them every so often.
Happiness List
Napping with my dog Denver
Walking up the the subway platform with my train just arriving
Getting mail from home (or plants)
Being with friends I have not seen in years
Warm weather at midnight
The promise of a new day
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Being Neighborly
Only here 6 days and there is already a snafu. I have already evoked the ire of the neighborhood sidewalk nazi. Two days ago, while walking my dog, I heard someone banging on a window, and I turned to find a woman screaming at me from inside her home in broken English, pointing and waving, and two little kids doing the same thing. The only words that I could make out were "no" and "dog" and "mine." They scrambled past their windows to the foyer, where I was certain they would open the door and come out to confront me (for what, I had no idea). Instead, the kids opened up the mail slot in the front door and proceeded to yell at me through that, their wee mouths poking through the metal slat. "Maybe they are just trying to welcome me" I thought. So, this morning I go out to walk the dog (the sheer nerve!) and I see this woman out in the street, yelling at the construction workers who were filling the holes in the road. I thought maybe in her frenzy she would not see me walking by, but no such luck. As my dog dared to stop at the tree on the street (planted in dry dirt at the edge of the sidewalk) she begins to shoo me away, telling me (in broken English) "they... kill... your...dog." Now, I was starting to wonder if she was protecting my dog by saying the streets are filthy and that I should find a safer place for my dog, when a miraculously lucid sentence poured from her mouth: "My kids play there, I don't want your dog pee-peeing."
Now, if you have seen the tree lined streets of Astoria, and witnessed the majesty of their trunks and roots, you would know to NEVER let your children play there. The "planter" which housed the tree was no more than 2'x2' square- not even kittens would have enough room to play there. Consider also that if my dog does NOT pee in an area such as that, the only other place to go would be the sidewalk, which I would venture to guess that far more people access than the 2'x2' area of tree roots. It was a judgment call...
I politely smiled and said I would continue walking, and she went back to shouting in broken English until I was well out of ear shot. All before 10am.
For reference, I have posted a photo of the pee-perpetrator. Please, judge kindly, she is getting old.
Gift, Gifts, Glorious Gifts
This afternoon I received a lovely gift of a palm tree from someone who knows that I will miss San Diego very much. Unfortunately, that is all I know about this someone, because the box did not include any identifying information. So, if you sent me this gift, please let me know so I can properly thank you. Otherwise, I will assume that I have a secret admirer and will hold off on dating any new men in lieu of dreaming about the person who bought my affection with a plant.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Thought for the day
Be aware that when you are at Starbucks, sitting right by the front window, you will feel like a animal behind glass at the zoo. It is a fact. Don't feed the monkeys.
Tuesday, August 9, 2005
Thought for the day
I am already starting to notice that some phrasing is a little different here:
San Diego: "For here or to go?"
New York: "To stay or to go?"
San Diego: "Cream and sugar?"
New York: "Milk and sugar?"
San Diego: [HONK] "I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to step in front of your car when walking against the traffic signal obliviously"
New York: [HONK] "Yeah? Fuck you too!"
One may note that two of these experiences have been from ordering food or coffee. And that most of the photos I have taken on my Photo Blog involve large amounts of alcohol. There are other things that I do here, I swear!
More differences to come as I discover them...
Sunday, August 7, 2005
I'm here!
I have been here only 3 days, but I have to say...
I LOVE IT
That phrase bears repeating...
I LOVE IT
And not in a crazed, hyper, overly stimulated sort of way, hence the lack of exclamation points (!!!!!!!) I mean in a peaceful "I know where I belong" sort of way." Maybe it is because I am unemployed that I am so peaceful, or maybe it is that Astoria is a kick ass place to be, or maybe it is the coffee I have tapped into the IV in my arm. Regardless, I am thrilled to be here.
Courtney is my great friend who I met in 2000 doing a show at Sledgehammer theatre in San Diego. From the beginning, I was drawn to her energy, her spirit, that sort of "I am who I am- you got a problem with that?" mentality, and yet she is one of the most down to earth and giving people I know. This was evident when, at her party, her apartment was filled end to end with friends who did not care that it was at least 90 degrees in her apartment, or that an unmentionable amount of liquid was spilled on her floor and was being stepped in. The place erupted into a very well sung version of Happy Birthday, with Tom on the piano and Debra providing the cake (and me providing the drunken harmonies). I met lots of people who were excited about my transition to NYC and were helpful, kind and giving.
I also love the place I am staying. I am living in Astoria, which is, apparently, a sort of artist's haven. The city gets more populated at night, with the slew of bars, live music venues, and fantastic restaurants. My section of Astoria seems to have a large Greek contingency, so I have had a fair share of authentic Greek food since I have been here. I am only 3 blocks away from the subway, and only 25 minutes into midtown Manhattan. My roommates are cool. Most of you know of Jessa Watson, performer extraordinare- she got me this sublet. She is staying in one of the rooms, and a great guy named Aaron is in the other one. I am subletting for a cool girl names Andra, who is away for the month. Jessa is thinking of picking up a different sublet in September, so if things continue to go well I should be able to take over Jessa's room. The rent is reasonable, and everything I could ever want to buy is at my fingertips (markets, drug stores, shoe stores...)
I am currently at a Starbucks on Steinway (there is not cable or internet access at the apartment). Steinway is like a huge outdoor mall, although the streets are not closed like in Santa Monica's Third Street. There are tons of stores, including chain clothing stores, and mom & pop places. Fantastic. I have found the people here to be kind, willing to give a smile, but busy enough that they will not take the time to hassle with you. Just the way I like it.
Tonight I am seeing Jessa in a show at the Midtown International Theatre Festival- an Off Off Broadway gig. I cannot wait to come to support her. This will be my first show since moving here. I am going to try to see some shows this week too. And museums. And concerts. Oh boy, I am getting excited just thinking about it!
I am all written out- I think I may just walk around again and see what's around. Maybe buy some shoes...
Monday, August 1, 2005
Is it already August?
August was this magical month sometime in the distant future when I "might move to New York" and now it is actually here. Creepy. And I am actually moving the New York, which makes is even creepier. And wonderful!
My 2nd show at Schroeder's Club and Cabaret was amazing! I had such a great time, and the audience seemed to enjoy it. I got to debut 20 new songs, most of which I have never sung live before, and threaded them together under the title "The Callback." Lots of stories about the theatre and what it is like to perform professionally. Lots of hi-jinx with my friend and accompanist, Cris O'Bryon. Fun was had by all. Go to my Photos and Reviews page to read some of the comments made about the event. I do have a video of the production, so if you missed the cabaret and happen to be traveling to NYC at any time in the future, you might be able to persuade me to show it to you. If you beg...
On the 28th I had tons of fun at my going away party, held at the Yard House, which is legendary for the Yard O' Beer, which the Minnions bought for me. I am sure the yard o' beer was purchased for comical effect as opposed to the quenching of my thirst. Good Lord, drinking out of those things looks ranchy. Thank goodness no one took a photo- I have a reputation to uphold. I arrived at the Yard House at 8pm, and there was a steady stream of friends coming and going until 12:15am when they kicked us out. My dear friend Dean flew in from Florida just in time to come to the event. Joey Landwehr, one of San Diego's most talented performers, dragged 6-7 of his closest friends to the restaurant to serenade me with an a cappella rendition of "In The Still of the Night." Their group is called In A Chord (if I could find a website for them, I would add a link). It was awesome. Thanks to everyone who came- Mom, Dad, Dean, Matt S, Matt L, Christina, Mike, Brooke, Rich, Sara, Kurt, Colleen, James and friends, Mike, Nick & Rebecca, Suzanne & Kevin, Diane & Michael, Cory and friend, Jim, Jason K, Jason H, Fred, and my friend Sergio (and his friend Fram), who I ran into randomly and haven't seen since 2002. I am sure I have forgotten someone- which probably means you did not sign my "Starving Artist in NYC" advice book!
That weekend I drove up to Los Angeles to visit with some friends I hadn't seen in a while. I had dinner with Henry and his wife Angela. I went to college with them, though I spent more time with henry because back in the day, he was dating my roommate and I dated a good friend of his. It was nice to see them again. I also visited my best friend from high school and college, who I had lost touch with since 1998. I posted a photo of us on my Photo Blog. It's nice to know that some things never change. We fell into the old pattern of talking and it was really nice. After that I went to visit my friend, Jesus, who is moving to NYC after he saves up some money by living with his family in LA. He must have seen how much fun I had living at home and decided to copy me. We went to the park and just sort of enjoyed how still life could be. I am going to miss those open spaces.
The rest of the week, I madly struggled to finish packing and seeing everyone I needed to see, not to mention sell my car! That was an interesting experience- once I got the money and we signed the paperwork, he drove me to a rental car place and that was the end of my life with the RMS Diva. But this sort of change in my life is wlecomed with open arms- open because I will have to carry everything in New York...
Gotta go- the boxes are calling me and I must obey!
My 2nd show at Schroeder's Club and Cabaret was amazing! I had such a great time, and the audience seemed to enjoy it. I got to debut 20 new songs, most of which I have never sung live before, and threaded them together under the title "The Callback." Lots of stories about the theatre and what it is like to perform professionally. Lots of hi-jinx with my friend and accompanist, Cris O'Bryon. Fun was had by all. Go to my Photos and Reviews page to read some of the comments made about the event. I do have a video of the production, so if you missed the cabaret and happen to be traveling to NYC at any time in the future, you might be able to persuade me to show it to you. If you beg...
On the 28th I had tons of fun at my going away party, held at the Yard House, which is legendary for the Yard O' Beer, which the Minnions bought for me. I am sure the yard o' beer was purchased for comical effect as opposed to the quenching of my thirst. Good Lord, drinking out of those things looks ranchy. Thank goodness no one took a photo- I have a reputation to uphold. I arrived at the Yard House at 8pm, and there was a steady stream of friends coming and going until 12:15am when they kicked us out. My dear friend Dean flew in from Florida just in time to come to the event. Joey Landwehr, one of San Diego's most talented performers, dragged 6-7 of his closest friends to the restaurant to serenade me with an a cappella rendition of "In The Still of the Night." Their group is called In A Chord (if I could find a website for them, I would add a link). It was awesome. Thanks to everyone who came- Mom, Dad, Dean, Matt S, Matt L, Christina, Mike, Brooke, Rich, Sara, Kurt, Colleen, James and friends, Mike, Nick & Rebecca, Suzanne & Kevin, Diane & Michael, Cory and friend, Jim, Jason K, Jason H, Fred, and my friend Sergio (and his friend Fram), who I ran into randomly and haven't seen since 2002. I am sure I have forgotten someone- which probably means you did not sign my "Starving Artist in NYC" advice book!
That weekend I drove up to Los Angeles to visit with some friends I hadn't seen in a while. I had dinner with Henry and his wife Angela. I went to college with them, though I spent more time with henry because back in the day, he was dating my roommate and I dated a good friend of his. It was nice to see them again. I also visited my best friend from high school and college, who I had lost touch with since 1998. I posted a photo of us on my Photo Blog. It's nice to know that some things never change. We fell into the old pattern of talking and it was really nice. After that I went to visit my friend, Jesus, who is moving to NYC after he saves up some money by living with his family in LA. He must have seen how much fun I had living at home and decided to copy me. We went to the park and just sort of enjoyed how still life could be. I am going to miss those open spaces.
The rest of the week, I madly struggled to finish packing and seeing everyone I needed to see, not to mention sell my car! That was an interesting experience- once I got the money and we signed the paperwork, he drove me to a rental car place and that was the end of my life with the RMS Diva. But this sort of change in my life is wlecomed with open arms- open because I will have to carry everything in New York...
Gotta go- the boxes are calling me and I must obey!
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Success!
Well, my cabaret at Schroeder's was a success! I had such a great time, and we had an amazing crowd for a Monday night. I was honored to see so many people from the theatre community come out to celebrate my last SD performance before my move. I got the show recorded by a wonderful videographer (Reel Moment Productions) and I will be asking them to put together some short demos to put on my website. So, for those of you who couldn't come (or those of you who want more!) you should be able to view some video in the next few weeks.
I have also added a brand new Photo Blog to my website (well, a link to it anyway. The PhotoBlog is run by TextAmerica.) This allows me to upload photos taken by my camera phone directly to the website, and I can take ohotos of my adventures as I make my way to NYC and for the months to come. Hopefully, it will help me keep in touch with people, along with my Musings page (which I hope to update more regularly).
I have one more week in San Diego. Tonight I am packing the suitcases I will be taking with me- on the plane I will only have 2 checked bags, plus my one carry one (which will have my drugged out dog inside of it) and my computer bag (which counts as a personal item). I am boxing everything else up that I want with me, and my family will ship it to me once I get to NYC. See, I have a plan...
I am in the process of trying to sell my car, so if you know anyone who need a great, reliable and FUN car under $10,000, please let me know. I must sell it by August 4.
OK, I'd better stop goofing off and get back to it. And, by "it" I mean playing with my dog and pretty much avoiding the inevitable.
I have also added a brand new Photo Blog to my website (well, a link to it anyway. The PhotoBlog is run by TextAmerica.) This allows me to upload photos taken by my camera phone directly to the website, and I can take ohotos of my adventures as I make my way to NYC and for the months to come. Hopefully, it will help me keep in touch with people, along with my Musings page (which I hope to update more regularly).
I have one more week in San Diego. Tonight I am packing the suitcases I will be taking with me- on the plane I will only have 2 checked bags, plus my one carry one (which will have my drugged out dog inside of it) and my computer bag (which counts as a personal item). I am boxing everything else up that I want with me, and my family will ship it to me once I get to NYC. See, I have a plan...
I am in the process of trying to sell my car, so if you know anyone who need a great, reliable and FUN car under $10,000, please let me know. I must sell it by August 4.
OK, I'd better stop goofing off and get back to it. And, by "it" I mean playing with my dog and pretty much avoiding the inevitable.
Monday, July 25, 2005
We don't need no stinkin' keys!
It just occurred to me that for the first time in my life, when I move I will have absolutely no keys. I will have given away my house key, my car key and both of my work keys. Has this ever happened to anyone? Don't you usually have SOME key left?
By the way, if you are reading this and you have never made a comment, now is a really good time. I have committed to writing more often on this page, and I would like you to commit to letting me know you were here. It's grueling to know that I am writing and writing and writing and maybe no one is listening. The echoes... the emptiness... sad... lonely...
All joking aside, post a comment, will ya!
Friday, July 1, 2005
Blogging Drought
Sorry for missing June. And most of May. The Festival took over my life for 2 solid months (and for 7 months before that it took over half of my life!) I know, I know. My apologies are a little thin, and appear like I am crying "wolf" since that's what I type at the top of EVERY entry. But, of all the times I have written it, I REALLY mean it now. Seriously. "Please believe me, I know not what I do..."
OK, enough of that. I am so pleased with how the Festival went! To see snippets of some of the reviews, visit my Photos/Reviews page (also know as my shameless self promotion page... Come on- in this business there is no one else looking out for you, so you gotta do it yourself!) The show I directed and produced, "Correct Address," was honored with a "Best of the Fest" Production award, as well as awards for Best Direction (for me) and Best Performance for Matt and Joey. The show was amazing to work on, and the audience really responded to it. Not only did it make grown men cry, I think it helped people to see that the pain of loss knows no boundaries- and that everyone can relate to it because it is the human experience. It was compelling because the story was theatrically told in the context of an extraordinary situation that not many people have been in, but it reached out across these barriers and made people FEEL something. Remarkable.
Even cooler than all of that? "Correct Address" is written by a published playwright and I had to apply for the rights in order to do the play. The day after it closes, I get an email, in which the subject says "From a playwright somewhere in Brooklyn"-- It is Judd Silverman, esteemed playwright of "Correct Address." I was thrilled. He just wanted to let me know he was happy that his play was still being produced and that he had read good things about our production. I wrote him back to let him know just how many people were affected by his piece, and how he is changing the world person by person. Now, THAT was worth the whole experience by itself! Oh, and he said that when I get to New York I should call him and he will wlecome me to the Big Apple. Rock on!
"Pieces," the show I starred in, was also a success. The playwright and director did an amazing job of bringing this tale to life and allowing me to energize this character. For this role I won my first solo acting award! (I have also won an ensemble award in Festival 2003 for another one of Jim's plays "The Tree of Life.") I feel like my last time on a San Diego stage has been validated immensely!
Well, my last time as a resident... I am actually in callbacks for "Smell of the Kill" at NCRT. There are MANY very talented women called back for this show, directed by Brendon Fox. So, I don't have any idea how this will turn out. Now it is kind of out of my hands. I just have to go in there, be myself, and have fun. The production dates are from Sept-Nov 2005, which means that if I am cast, I go to NYC on August as a sort of scouting mission, come back for 2 full months, then move officially in November. The idea of NOT leavingfor good really messes with me, since I will no longer be at AASD and my life will be in flux for a while. But, I guess getting cast in a show would be a nice problem to have!
So, the current plan is to spend July catching up with friends and saying my goodbyes, packing like a maniac, holding a yard sale to get rid of all of my crap (can we say downsize???), and breathing into a paper bag each time I feel a panic attack coming on. I have really mixed emotions about the transition, but the closer I get the more excited I feel. Imagine how different it would be to never drive your own car? I know it will be annoying sometimes (can't buy furniture and drag it onto the subway- getting through the turnstyle would be a bitch!) ) But at the same time, I will not have to deal with traffic anymore. Yes, I will be losing the private singing time I have in my car, but I will be gaining the time to read novels, plays, subway maps, War and Peace, the phone book... You know, LOTS of time to read. I want to see how I adjust to all of this- life in San Diego is so "nice"- but not very exciting. Not risky. And if there is one thing I have learned in my 29 years (oops, I mean 21, I swear!) it is that in order to have great rewards you must have great risk. I need something bigger than myself to challenge me to be better than I could have ever imagined. I think New York will be just the place.
My last performance in San Diego will be at Schroeder's Club and Cabaret on July 25, 2005. It will be called "The Callback" (get it? They called me back and in theatre they have callb... never mind.) It is on a Monday night, and immediately following there will be a going away party. You can reserve tickets now- say that you are a friend of mine and you can get a 2 for $30 deal (single tickets are still $22). Proceeds go toward ECSAF (Erin Cronican Starving Artist Fund).
I'd like to leave you with a little humor by a friend who is so crazed by corporate america that on Friday afternoon's he goes a little wacko (especially before a holiday weekend). In my last cabaret I mentioned several times the influence the musical "West Side Story" has had on my life. My dear friend Jim (the playwright of "Pieces" and "Tree of Life") has since talked about me doing another one woman show written by him. His concept?

Note: Please excuse the bastardization of the West Side Story Tony/Maria death scene photo. "How many bullets are left in this gun?!? Enough for ju, and ju?"
Happy 4th of July Weekend!
OK, enough of that. I am so pleased with how the Festival went! To see snippets of some of the reviews, visit my Photos/Reviews page (also know as my shameless self promotion page... Come on- in this business there is no one else looking out for you, so you gotta do it yourself!) The show I directed and produced, "Correct Address," was honored with a "Best of the Fest" Production award, as well as awards for Best Direction (for me) and Best Performance for Matt and Joey. The show was amazing to work on, and the audience really responded to it. Not only did it make grown men cry, I think it helped people to see that the pain of loss knows no boundaries- and that everyone can relate to it because it is the human experience. It was compelling because the story was theatrically told in the context of an extraordinary situation that not many people have been in, but it reached out across these barriers and made people FEEL something. Remarkable.
Even cooler than all of that? "Correct Address" is written by a published playwright and I had to apply for the rights in order to do the play. The day after it closes, I get an email, in which the subject says "From a playwright somewhere in Brooklyn"-- It is Judd Silverman, esteemed playwright of "Correct Address." I was thrilled. He just wanted to let me know he was happy that his play was still being produced and that he had read good things about our production. I wrote him back to let him know just how many people were affected by his piece, and how he is changing the world person by person. Now, THAT was worth the whole experience by itself! Oh, and he said that when I get to New York I should call him and he will wlecome me to the Big Apple. Rock on!
"Pieces," the show I starred in, was also a success. The playwright and director did an amazing job of bringing this tale to life and allowing me to energize this character. For this role I won my first solo acting award! (I have also won an ensemble award in Festival 2003 for another one of Jim's plays "The Tree of Life.") I feel like my last time on a San Diego stage has been validated immensely!
Well, my last time as a resident... I am actually in callbacks for "Smell of the Kill" at NCRT. There are MANY very talented women called back for this show, directed by Brendon Fox. So, I don't have any idea how this will turn out. Now it is kind of out of my hands. I just have to go in there, be myself, and have fun. The production dates are from Sept-Nov 2005, which means that if I am cast, I go to NYC on August as a sort of scouting mission, come back for 2 full months, then move officially in November. The idea of NOT leavingfor good really messes with me, since I will no longer be at AASD and my life will be in flux for a while. But, I guess getting cast in a show would be a nice problem to have!
So, the current plan is to spend July catching up with friends and saying my goodbyes, packing like a maniac, holding a yard sale to get rid of all of my crap (can we say downsize???), and breathing into a paper bag each time I feel a panic attack coming on. I have really mixed emotions about the transition, but the closer I get the more excited I feel. Imagine how different it would be to never drive your own car? I know it will be annoying sometimes (can't buy furniture and drag it onto the subway- getting through the turnstyle would be a bitch!) ) But at the same time, I will not have to deal with traffic anymore. Yes, I will be losing the private singing time I have in my car, but I will be gaining the time to read novels, plays, subway maps, War and Peace, the phone book... You know, LOTS of time to read. I want to see how I adjust to all of this- life in San Diego is so "nice"- but not very exciting. Not risky. And if there is one thing I have learned in my 29 years (oops, I mean 21, I swear!) it is that in order to have great rewards you must have great risk. I need something bigger than myself to challenge me to be better than I could have ever imagined. I think New York will be just the place.
My last performance in San Diego will be at Schroeder's Club and Cabaret on July 25, 2005. It will be called "The Callback" (get it? They called me back and in theatre they have callb... never mind.) It is on a Monday night, and immediately following there will be a going away party. You can reserve tickets now- say that you are a friend of mine and you can get a 2 for $30 deal (single tickets are still $22). Proceeds go toward ECSAF (Erin Cronican Starving Artist Fund).
I'd like to leave you with a little humor by a friend who is so crazed by corporate america that on Friday afternoon's he goes a little wacko (especially before a holiday weekend). In my last cabaret I mentioned several times the influence the musical "West Side Story" has had on my life. My dear friend Jim (the playwright of "Pieces" and "Tree of Life") has since talked about me doing another one woman show written by him. His concept?
Note: Please excuse the bastardization of the West Side Story Tony/Maria death scene photo. "How many bullets are left in this gun?!? Enough for ju, and ju?"
Happy 4th of July Weekend!
Saturday, May 7, 2005
Cabaret rules!
Welcome to those of you visiting my website for the first time! Leave some comments so I know you were here!
Well, I did it. I starred in my first cabaret show in 7 years and it was a hit! Thank you to everyone who came out and made the show a success: Mom, Dad, Uncle Art, Mary, their friends, Matt, Robin, Steve, Kristen, Mike, Somer, Lloyd, Jack, Kathryn, John, Debra, Mitch, Jason, Kim, John, Rob, Jim, Ric, Karen & David, Brooke & guests, Mike & Lisa, Mariel & guest, and the countless others I didn't know who took a chance on me, and of course the Schroeder's gang Sher and Tom (producers) and Ian and Matt on spotlight and video camera.
It was a great evening had by all. Everything went off without a hitch, except for when I slowed the evening down to do a popular, jazzy ballad and I was gently getting onto the stool, I got a gigantic cramp in my calf (which is still sore today). I had a decision to make- do like actors usually have to do, grin and bear it, and try to make this lilting ballad as natural as possible. Or, I can stop the show, and laugh about it. So, that's what i did. I waited until the pause right before I had to sing, then said I had to take a pause because I had a huge cramp in my leg. This was right after the audition nightmare segment, and it was totally unplanned, but as I stretched, Cris, my trusted accompanist, starting playing the Chariots of Fire theme and making the famous "running" sounds from the movie. Hilarious. You can't write material like this...
Other parts of my performance life area great. I just finished another round of Standardized Patient training at UCSD school of medicine- that is where I simulate a patient with a certain illness so that the medical student can practice their bedside manner and information gathering skills. It is so wonderful to be able to make a difference while also doing what I love, which makes a difference for me!
I am preparing for the Festival, and it is going to be a good one! If any of you are planning on seeing my two shows, the one I am directing and the one I am starring in, please consider buying a Festival pass and enjoying the whole series. For only $75 you can see 7 evenings of theatre- that's only $10.71 a ticket (normally $18 a ticket). Over the 2 weeks you will see more than 35 short plays, all produced, directed and starring local, Actors Alliance members. 80% of the pieces you'll see are written by local playwrights. Since we are non-profit, proceeds from tickets sales go toward expenses for putting on the Festival, which includes paying the artists for their hard work. We don't have any administrators takes thousands off the top- 100% of your money goes to support this events and the artists. So, please consider giving a little and seeing 7 unparalleled evenings of theatre! (and if you are an AASD member, you get a Festival pass for only $50- what a deal!)
Well, I did it. I starred in my first cabaret show in 7 years and it was a hit! Thank you to everyone who came out and made the show a success: Mom, Dad, Uncle Art, Mary, their friends, Matt, Robin, Steve, Kristen, Mike, Somer, Lloyd, Jack, Kathryn, John, Debra, Mitch, Jason, Kim, John, Rob, Jim, Ric, Karen & David, Brooke & guests, Mike & Lisa, Mariel & guest, and the countless others I didn't know who took a chance on me, and of course the Schroeder's gang Sher and Tom (producers) and Ian and Matt on spotlight and video camera.
It was a great evening had by all. Everything went off without a hitch, except for when I slowed the evening down to do a popular, jazzy ballad and I was gently getting onto the stool, I got a gigantic cramp in my calf (which is still sore today). I had a decision to make- do like actors usually have to do, grin and bear it, and try to make this lilting ballad as natural as possible. Or, I can stop the show, and laugh about it. So, that's what i did. I waited until the pause right before I had to sing, then said I had to take a pause because I had a huge cramp in my leg. This was right after the audition nightmare segment, and it was totally unplanned, but as I stretched, Cris, my trusted accompanist, starting playing the Chariots of Fire theme and making the famous "running" sounds from the movie. Hilarious. You can't write material like this...
Other parts of my performance life area great. I just finished another round of Standardized Patient training at UCSD school of medicine- that is where I simulate a patient with a certain illness so that the medical student can practice their bedside manner and information gathering skills. It is so wonderful to be able to make a difference while also doing what I love, which makes a difference for me!
I am preparing for the Festival, and it is going to be a good one! If any of you are planning on seeing my two shows, the one I am directing and the one I am starring in, please consider buying a Festival pass and enjoying the whole series. For only $75 you can see 7 evenings of theatre- that's only $10.71 a ticket (normally $18 a ticket). Over the 2 weeks you will see more than 35 short plays, all produced, directed and starring local, Actors Alliance members. 80% of the pieces you'll see are written by local playwrights. Since we are non-profit, proceeds from tickets sales go toward expenses for putting on the Festival, which includes paying the artists for their hard work. We don't have any administrators takes thousands off the top- 100% of your money goes to support this events and the artists. So, please consider giving a little and seeing 7 unparalleled evenings of theatre! (and if you are an AASD member, you get a Festival pass for only $50- what a deal!)
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Bad blogger
Sorry I missed writing for all of February. Work at AASD has been a little crazy as we prepared for one of our biggest programs, the All City Auditions. They were produced successfully March 8 & 9, and I got the opportunity to premiere 2 new audition pieces to a very good crowd of more than 50 local directors. San Diego is so lucky to have such a great organization, if I do say so myself.
Tomorrow morning, I am headed to Los Angeles to audition for "Palm Beach," a musical being produced by La Jolla Playhouse this summer. LJP has increasing sought local actors to fill their productions, and I am thrilled to represent San Diego's talent at Screenland Studios tomorrow. I'll be sure to let you know how it goes.
I just learned that a piece I had submitted to the Actors Alliance Festival has been accepted for production. I, as the producer and director, will have an opportunity to present a beautiful play to San Diego audiences and have complete artistic control. Have I gone insane? All joking aside, this is a huge responsibility and I am thrilled to start this adventure. I'll keep you posted on the progress.
I will also be acting in the Festival. Jim Ellis, a local playwright and fellow AASD member, approached me about an idea for a play after he saw my performance in "The Last Five Years" and heard about my personal relationship woes: Would I be willing to help him develop a show that addresses what happens after a break up- how does one put the pieces back together and reclaim that part of the self that was lost? I said yes. He has since interviewed me and written a beautiful piece that addresses love, loss, hope and fear. I look forward to working on it in the months to come- and hope that you can come out to see it!
Tomorrow morning, I am headed to Los Angeles to audition for "Palm Beach," a musical being produced by La Jolla Playhouse this summer. LJP has increasing sought local actors to fill their productions, and I am thrilled to represent San Diego's talent at Screenland Studios tomorrow. I'll be sure to let you know how it goes.
I just learned that a piece I had submitted to the Actors Alliance Festival has been accepted for production. I, as the producer and director, will have an opportunity to present a beautiful play to San Diego audiences and have complete artistic control. Have I gone insane? All joking aside, this is a huge responsibility and I am thrilled to start this adventure. I'll keep you posted on the progress.
I will also be acting in the Festival. Jim Ellis, a local playwright and fellow AASD member, approached me about an idea for a play after he saw my performance in "The Last Five Years" and heard about my personal relationship woes: Would I be willing to help him develop a show that addresses what happens after a break up- how does one put the pieces back together and reclaim that part of the self that was lost? I said yes. He has since interviewed me and written a beautiful piece that addresses love, loss, hope and fear. I look forward to working on it in the months to come- and hope that you can come out to see it!
Monday, January 31, 2005
January was a good month
January was a good month. I think I am well on my way to getting my new resolution met, which is to make this the best year of my life! On January 24, I went to Los Angeles to help a composer friend workshop his brand new musical for none other than Stephen Schwartz. It was inspiring and tons of fun. Stephen Schwartz and Disney co-sponsor a composing workshop for up and coming composer. More than 120 composer submitted to be a part of this workshop and only 4 composers were selected to participate. Needless to say, Jon Lorenz was one of them and I was honored to be asked to help. We presented 20 consecutive minutes of the show, then Jon received detailed feedback from a panel of "judges" including Stephen Schwartz. It was awesome. We go back next month and do 50 consecutive minutes. That should be really fun.
I am looking forward to February- I will be shooting the lead role in a short film and am hoping to do more video work. I just got new headshots by Greg Crowder (he is amazing- check out his website). I will be getting them printed soon so that I can officially reveal myself to the theatre community as a blonde. Take a look at my gallery of new pics if you get a chance.
And leave some comments (below) so I know you were here!
I am looking forward to February- I will be shooting the lead role in a short film and am hoping to do more video work. I just got new headshots by Greg Crowder (he is amazing- check out his website). I will be getting them printed soon so that I can officially reveal myself to the theatre community as a blonde. Take a look at my gallery of new pics if you get a chance.
And leave some comments (below) so I know you were here!
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