Friday, August 4, 2006

It defies all reason


I’m not kidding. This really happened.

I was walking my dog this morning, and a really nice girl came walking by and asked to pet my dog. We chatted for a few minutes, then she thanked me for letting her pet Denver and moved on. As I looked up to say goodbye, a man approached me. He was in his mid thirties, Asian, with shorts and a t-shirt on and a lanyard around his neck with some sort of badge (probably from his work). Naturally I assumed he wanted to pet the dog too, but instead, he started asking me questions (in a very thick accent that was hard to understand.)

Him - How much for the dog?
Me - What?
Him - How much pay for the dog?
Me - I’m sorry, what do you mean? How much did I pay for the dog, or...?
Him - No, no, how much you want for the dog?
Me - What? She is not for sale.
Him - No, what did you pay for the dog? How much would that dog be if I wanted her?
Me - Uh, I got her at a shelter (which wasn’t true, I got her at a pet store in Malibu that sell puppies on behalf of owners who can’t keep them, but that would take too long to explain. Plus, I support no-kill shelters and wish I had rescued her, so I thought I would do a little plug for animal rescue.)
Him - So, how much then. It’s free, right? Since it is a shelter?
Me - No, it’s like $50-$100, depending on the dog.
Him - (as he starts to get belligerent) So, this company just takes all of the money then. Why? Why do you have to pay?
Me - Well, because they vaccinate the pets and have medical staff on duty, and they shelter the pets until someone can take them home.
Him - But why isn’t it free? I should be able to just take the dog home.
Me - Uh, not really, but whatever you say.
Him - The dog should be free. If it is rescued, why should they make money? If I see a dog on the street, I should be able to just pick him up and he is mine, right?
Me - No.
Him - Why not? I am rescuing it, and then I can ask for money too.
Me - Uh, you know, I am not the right person to ask. Maybe you should call a shelter and ask them.
Him - But why can’t it be mine? Why?
Me - Uh...
Him - If the dog is just running around the street, the owner is not taking care of it and I can just pick it up and take it home and it would be mine.
Me - Uh... I don’t think so.
Him - Why?
Me - Um, maybe because you probably shouldn’t take things that don’t belong to you.
Him - (remember, he has a thick accent) But why can’t it be mine? I found it. It’s mine.
Me - (as I start to walk away) You know what? I am not the right person to ask. You should probably just look up a shelter on the internet and find out there.
Him - I don’t have the internet!
Me - Sorry...
Him - I don’t have a computer. Tell me why it can’t be mine if I find it?
Me - (backing away slowly) I have to go. Good luck!
Him - I don’t have a computer.
Me - Well, then use the yellow pages and call on the phone.
Him - But I don’t have a quarter!
Me - (walking away, shaking head)
Him - I need a quarter! A quarter? I don’t have a phone! Help me!

Then he turns around and walks the opposite direction from me and never looks back.

Conversations like this defy all reason. Was he looking to pick a fight against some unsuspecting dog owner? Did he just want someone to talk to? Or did he simply need a quarter and wanted to come up with clever conversation in order to get it?

Ponderous man, really ponderous...

1 comment:

  1. Comments on blog:

    2 comments:

    tw said...

    I think that's the guy with the blog "Argue with strangers". It's a little like "Candid Camera" but less objectivity.

    Now there's a guy who knows what happiness is.


    dearkitten said...

    damn that's an incredible story....good stuff stuff for a play!! I love how life can surprise us with such beautiful moments.......incredibly ponderous.

    ReplyDelete

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